And The Middle Name Is...

Ellie came into this world on June 5. On June 6 it was time to fill out the birth certificate where Brian and I had a strong civil conversation on how to spell her name, one l or two? We knew her name all along but apparently had forgotten to discuss spelling. Thus, Ellison it is--2 l's.
Abbie had been easy and we named her from Abigail, David's wife in the bible, and Ellie was a spin-off of Brian's grandma, Nellie.
Keeping with the "-ie" trend and realizing this is our last child, and a girl, we needed to have Brian honored somehow and that is how Brynlie was born. Part Brian, part -ie. Learning from our "hospital discussion", I knew we needed to discuss spelling of her name prior to birth and that is when the voting began and we now agree on the spelling.
The second hard part is the middle name. Trying to agree is like trying to tell a skunk not to stink. Not happening. Then some things came to mind. Instead of trying to find that perfect middle name that flows, what if we chose a name with meaning and depth? Is it ok that her name doesn't flow as well as I would intend it to? Yes, because her meaning is more important that the way it sounds.
Brian and I began to talk and my New Year's Resolution (remember yours??) was simple: Hope in God. Brian has been drawn to the verse: Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. (Psalm 43:5). One day our hope will no longer be hope because we will know as we are fully known.
Catch the theme?? So, soon enough, we shall bring forth a baby girl, who I hope will know God and find her security in him, hope that God will be faithful to save, hope in something bigger than us, hope that we have a future with the sovereign Lord, Brynlie Hope, we can't wait to meet you.

Water Park Insecurities

I have spent a lot of time at the water park over the past few weeks and there is an issue that keeps coming to my soul. Insecurity. Could it be that I just read Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity? While there, I see many women in bikinis and granted, some wear them nice, others, well, let's just say sometimes more is better. My judgmental mind and heart take over and I compare myself to these woman and how I look. Now, some of you are thinking, "But you're pregnant!" Yes, I know, but in my head, I'm not. This thinking alone is damaging to my soul and who God created me to be. I am to compare myself to him and his acceptance alone-not other women. We are made in the image of God and should be image bearers. Does that mean that bikinis are the best way to reflect this image? Now, to those who own a bikini (as do I, but it gets worn in the backyard with a wooden fence around me, however, woe to the neighbors with 2-story houses), this is my insecurity coming through and what God is laying on my heart. May God deal gently with each of us for what we choose to wear, or not to wear.

What message is being sent in these tiny pieces of clothing? I personally opt for the tankini and skirted bottom because I have yet to come to peace with my thighs. What message is sent when women wear these bathing suits to young, impressionable girls? If I struggle, will my own girls? Will they begin the cyclical sin cycle of thinking, "But I don't look like that." What message does it send to young boys, single men, and dare I say, married?

What about younger girls? Teenage girls who wear tiny bathing suits and go to water parks with prepubescent boys who most likely aren't following your behind because they think you're smart. Does this begin to foster respect for the opposite sex or further drive young hormonal boys to "be boys?" Does this type of clothing take away the dignity of women of all ages and make us part of the ever pervasive hypersexualization? To be sensual is to be sexy?

I am a sinner who struggles with self-image (obviously, right?) trying to raise 2, soon to be 3 girls in a culture where less is more and demanding dignity and respect is counter-cultural. I am to raise them to respect themselves, their bodies, and who Christ created them to be, in Him, to have others not look or judge them for their bodies, but their soul.

Which leads me to this, now what? Now that I have put this out there, what do I do about this situation? How do I teach my own girls--who wear two pieces that cover or a 1 piece--that we are to respect ourselves and demand respect from others? How do I teach them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that culture will always tell them otherwise? Perhaps as women we should consider what we wear, water park or no water park, and think about the message we are sending to future generations of young girls. I want my girls to be wives of noble character, who open their mouths with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on their tongue, and who brings praise to their husbands at the city gate because, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Week 2 Menu

Here are some recipe ideas, recipes, and a rough grocery list. It might help the week go a bit smoother knowing what to cook.
Week 2

Monday
Skillet Burrito
Corn

Tuesday
Fettucine Alfredo
Garlic Bread
Salad

Wednesday
Calzones
Salad

Thursday
Honey Lime Chicken
Rice
Egg Rolls

Friday
Hot Dogs
Chips

Grocery List:
Black beans
1 lb ground beef
hot sauce
ground cumin
corn tortillas (the big pack!)
shredded cheddar cheese
sour cream (optional)
Lettuce (optional)
Tomato (optional)
Corn in freezer section that you steam in microwave
2 jars alfredo sauce
egg noodles
frozen chicken (for 2 meals)
parmesan cheese
swiss cheese (optional)
pizza dough
spaghetti sauce
provolone cheese
salad
pepperoni
garlic salt
oregeno
honey
soy sauce
lime juice
egg rolls
rice
chips
hot dog buns
hot dog weinies



Skillet Burrito
Black beans, rinsed, drained
1 lb ground beef
1 C hot sauce
2 tsp ground cumin
salt/pepper
4 corn (flour) tortillas-cut into 1 ½ inch squares
1 C Shredded cheddar cheese
Corn
Garnish: tomato. Lettuce, sour cream, guacamole (if you want)

Cook corn to directions. Serve as side.
Cook meat and drain. Add salt/pepper/beans/salsa/sumin/1/2 C of water. Bring to boil, reduce heat, simmer 5-10 minutes.

Stir in tortilla strips, top w/ cheese. Remove from heat, cover, let it set to allow cheese to melt. Serve w/ garnishes.

Fettuccine Alfredo
• 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cubed
• 2 (16 ounce) jars Alfredo pasta sauce
• 4 slices Swiss cheese
• 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• salt and pepper to taste
Directions
1. In the crock of a slow cooker, stir together the chicken cubes and Alfredo sauce. Cover, and cook on Low for 2 hours. Add Parmesan cheese and Swiss cheese; cover and cook for another 30 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through. Season with garlic powder, salt and pepper and stir in cheeses before serving.
2. I add cooked egg noodles in the end. I skip the swiss cheese.

Calzones
You can make your own dough or buy pizza dough.
Flatten out, cut into long rectangles. Top with pizza sauce, provolone cheese, and pepperonis. Roll up. Brush with olive oil and sprinkle with garlic salt and oregeno. Cook in oven according to the pizza dough directions.


Honey Lime Chicken
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/3 cup soy sauce
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 4 (4 ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
Directions
1. In a resealable plastic bag or shallow glass container, combine the honey, soy sauce and lime juice; mix well. Add chicken and turn to coat. Seal or cover and refrigerate for 30-45 minutes. Drain and discard marinade. Grill chicken, uncovered, over medium heat for 6-7 minutes on each side or until juices run clear.

Menu Week 1

I created this for a friend who typically doesn't write our their menu for the week then create their grocery list based off the menu, which is how I operate otherwise we wouldn't be eating anything but Cheerios. Here is a menu for this week including all the recipes and grocery list. The grocery list is simply that, a list of what you would need. Check your pantry and fridge to see what you have and what you don't. Also, it is possible I have forgotten to add something. I have three more weeks worth I will post over the next 3 weeks. Happy eating!

Monday

Mashed potatoes

London Broil

Tuesday

Macaroni and Cheese

Eckrich Sausage

Wednesday

Red Potatoes

15 Minute Marinade Chicken

Thursday

Hamburgers on grill

Chips

Friday

Homemade pizza dough and sauce

Grocery List:
London Broil-2 pounds

Cream mushroom

Tomato soup

Dry onion mix soup

Mashed potatoes (freezer section)

Mac n cheese

Eckrich sausage

BBQ sauce

Dijon mustard

Lemon juice

Dried tarragon

Frozen chicken

Pepper

Red potatoes

Honey

Cheddar cheese

Parmesan cheese

Hamburger buns

Bacon

Worcestershire sauce

Ketchup

Onion

Egg

1 ½ lbs ground beef

olive oil

flour

whole wheat flour

active dry yeast

Italian seasoning

15 oz can tomato sauce

dried oregeno

basil

garlic powder

onion powder

mozerella cheese

pepperoni

London Broil

• 2 pounds flank steak---I like to use the London Broil cut of meat bc Kroger sometimes has it cheaper.
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed tomato soup
• 1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix

Directions

1. Place meat in the bottom of the slow cooker; if necessary, slice meat to make it fit!
2. In a medium bowl, mix together mushroom and tomato soup. Pour mixture over beef. Sprinkle dry onion soup mix over top.
3. Cover, and cook on Low for 8 to 10 hours.
   

Mashed Potatoes

I buy the mashed potatoes in the freezer section next to the fries. Cook in microwave for 10 minutes and add what you want to them.

Mac-n-Cheese

I use Kraft out of a box!

Eckrich Sausage
I cook according to package.

When done, I cut into medallions, put back in skillet to cook thoroughly on each side.

Take out again, clean out pan w/ paper towels, but sausage back in w/ BBQ sauce and heat through.

15-minute Marinade

¼ C Dijon mustard

2 tbsp fresh lemon juice

1 ½ tsp dried tarragon

¼ tsp pepper

4 boneless, skinless chicken halves (I use chicken tenders)

Combine ingredients in a gallon bag with chicken and marinate at room temperature for 15 minutes (or fridge if hours). Cook on stove (or grill) till done.

Red Potatoes

Clean and rinse pack of red potatoes. Cut into ¼.

Drizzle olive oil in pan, Put red potatoes in and season with salt and pepper and I drizzle honey all over. Put lid on and cook for 10-15 minutes. Stir 3 times during the cooking process.

Bacon Wrapped Cheeseburgers

• 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
• 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon ketchup
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
• 1 pound ground beef
• 6 slices bacon
• 6 hamburger buns, split

Directions

1. Preheat a grill for high heat.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the Cheddar cheese, Parmesan cheese, onion, egg, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Crumble in the ground beef, and mix together by hand. Form into 6 patties, and wrap a slice of bacon around each one. Secure bacon with toothpicks.
3. Place patties on the grill, and cook for 5 minutes per side, or until well done. Remove toothpicks before serving on hamburger buns.
   

Whole Wheat Pizza Dough

1 cup lukewarm water 1 packet active dry yeast

1 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp Italian seasoning

1 C whole wheat flour 2 tbsp parmesan cheese

2 C white flour 1 tsp salt

Mix lukewarm water and 1 C of white flour. Add yeast, sugar, salt and oil. Whisk to make “spongey” dough. Sit for 10-15 minutes.

Add remaining 2 C of flour and stir with wooden spoon. (I often have to add more water during this process to get the right consistency. Add just a bit a time.) When it becomes thick enough to knead, knead by hand for 6-8 minutes on floured surface. Knead seasoning and Parmesan cheese into dough. Place in floured or greased bowl for 45 min-1 hour.

Once risen and doubled in size, place on lightly floured surface. Sprinkle flour on dough and rolling pin and roll out to desired sizes.

Brush edges of dough w/ olive oil. Bake at 350 for 8 minutes. Remove. Add desired toppings. Bake for 8-10 more minutes.

Homemade Pizza Sauce

1 (15oz) can tomato sauce

1 tsp dried oregeno

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

2 tsp olive oil

Put in sauce pan, combine, whisk, simmer for 6-8 minutes.

Magazine Deals

This is the only way I knew to get you some good deals on magazines. I have used them to order another magazine for super cheap! Tanga has good deals and I have had good luck. Just click on what you're interested in!

• Shape Magazine Subscription – $1.50 per year with code: 8249
• Wine Enthusiast Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with code: cffd
• Mac Life Magazine Subscription -$4.99 per year with code: 0761
• Nintendo Power Magazine Subscription – $4.99 per year with code: b148
• Family Circle Magazine Subscription – $3.50 per year with code: 3b37
• Atlantic Magazine Subscription – $4.99 per year with code: 4bbd
• Motor Trend Magazine Subscription – $3.50 per year with code: d4a7
• Entrepreneur Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with code: 018c
• Skiing Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with code: f856
• Fitness Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with code: 84ce
• Saveur Magazine Subscription – $4.99 per year with coupon code: 381f
• Muscle and Fitness Magazine – $2.99 with coupon code: ba19
• Disney’s Family Fun Magazine – $2.99 per year with coupon code: 98c7
• Popular Science Magazine Subscription – $5.50 per year with coupon code: 75cf
• Maximum PC Magazine – $3.99 with coupon code: f7c1
• Taste of Home Magazine Subscription – $3.50 per year with coupon code: af65
• Weight Watchers Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with coupon code: ac98
• Better Homes and Gardens Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: ed9c
• Complex Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with coupon code: ce2d
• Boys’ Life Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: 7a34
• Spa Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: d712
• Women’s Day Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: 631b
• Outside Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with coupon code: f3eb
• Men’s Fitness Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: 000f
• Parents Magazine Subscription – $3.50 per year with coupon code: aab0
• Car and Driver Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: ea66
• Body & Soul Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with coupon code: 06c5
• American Photo Magazine Subscription – $3.99 per year with coupon code: ee24
• Vegetarian Times Magazine Subscription – $2.99 per year with coupon code: ee2e

Crazy Love and Me

I finished the book Crazy Love. Super easy reading, super convicting on the soul. I read the bible and I know about God and I know he loves me and his promises, but to truly believe them, that is where I struggle. Crazy Love is about loving everyone more than yousrelf, even the unlovable. Who do you avoid? Love them. Who has hurt you? Love them. Who do you need to forgive? Forgive and love them. These are not easy things for me to do.
I am called to follow Jesus fully, trust completely in him in such a way that it may look crazy. I am to give more than I have, help the poor, feed the needy. After all, it's not about this life, but the life to come. I am not to put my hope in this world but the one to come.
So, how do I love God more? How do I do this thing? First off, asking God to help me. Realizing its the cross alone that saves me and enables me. It is me constantly repenting of my selfishness and asking God to give me heart of flesh that doesn't look to the law to be the point (where grace, mercy, love, compassion, kindness will be void), but leads others to the point, Christ. I must pray for humility and ask him to help me with this.
I don't want this to be just another book I read and am inspired for a few days or weeks, but something that I allow God to use a tool to transform me.

I Suck. Thank Goodness for the Cross

I have began reading a book called Crazy Love. Got it from my parents and I have finished the first 4 chapters and already feel like I suck (thank goodness for the cross!). Chapter 4 is about being lukewarm and the characteristics of a lukewarm Christian and abomination it is to the Lord. After reading the descriptions, I found myself in many of them. After finishing the chapter, I had to go back and look at the descriptions of each, confess my sin in them, repent, and ask the Lord to help me.
Just a couple of the lukewarm descriptions I found myself in are:
I don't want to be saved from my sin, just from the penalty of it.
Rarely share my faith with neighbors, friends, and coworkers.
Think about life much more on earth than eternity in heaven.
Continually concerned with playing it safe; I am a slave to the god of control.

Jesus asks for everything, but we (I) try to give him less. Luke talks about being salt. Salt was used to help manure be good fertilizer. Salt that loses its saltiness is not even beneficial to manure. In same way, my lukewarm faith is useless.

If this is only chapter 4, I can't imagine what is in store. As I go through this book, I want to really understand the nature and character of God (in addition to the bible) and have a heart that declares: "The greatest good on this earth is God." Heaven help me.

Don't Call CPS, Seriously

My sweet Abbie was turning circles in her tent with Ellie and both were full of laughter until Abbie fell down, hit her head on her fan, began bleeding every where, carpet included. I hustled her into the bathroom, grabbed a rag and tried to stop the bleeding as quickly as possible while calling Brian to see if she would need stitches but he deferred to his mom, a nurse, who said as long as the bleeding stopped, she was ok. Thankfully, the bleeding did stop and stitches were averted.
Tonight my sweet Ellie was playing on the bleachers at gymnastics when her little wobbly feet slipped and she fell, hitting her head busting her temple, scraping her forehead, and scratching her cheek. She cried a cry that told me she was in pain (obviously). The puncture didn't bleed much so I took her downstairs and got some ice where the nice lady also gave her little a little icy treat which calmed her down.
Now my two sweet girls have indentions in their head, cute to match, but this is taking it too far!

Idols

As the holiday season approaches, it seems I always find myself in a funk of my own doing. Almost a year out of step studies, I am able to better view my life, its sin, the root of it, confess and repent. God has brought to my heart my idol of comfort/security and my distrust of his providing hand. I look at our budget and think, "How are we going to make it? What else can we cut?" With that, I trim the budget again getting rid of what we don't need in hopes to be more wise and more dependent on Him.
I think God knew I would be in this funk at this moment and has provided ways of helping me deal. The sermon Matt preached over money hit home. I am not an owner, merely a steward to what he has given and does my budget reflect more of an owner, or steward? Ouch. I'm an owner. Do we live beneath our means in order to bless others? Ouch. I don't.
Beau preached on anxiety that is rooted in pride or distrust. I can honestly say I don't trust God to provide so I search the budget for things to cut, things to sell, or things to do to make money instead of resting in his character that has provided for our family each and every month, each and every year. We have never gone without. Never. Shouldn't that be enough for me to believe in the power of God? One would think. But I find myself thinking with head in the flesh instead of my soul in the spirit.
Today's verse on twitter? Out of Philippians 4 to think on true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, things worthy of praise. I went back a few verses where it tells me not to be anxious about anything, but in everything to present my requests to God.
So, here is my web confession that I am seeking comfort, making it my idol, instead of trusting the ever giving, all sufficient grace of God to provide. My worrying to does not add to my day, nor does it solve any problems. When I bring myself before the throne, confess my sin, that is when the power of God is able to move in my life. Comfort can not be my end goal, but seeking the face of God.

Cereal Deal

At Target, they have buy 3 get 1 FREE on Kellogg's Cereal. Here is a deal for you.

I bought: Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks, and Honey Smacks.
My cereal prices were:
$2.99
$2.99
$3.29
$2.69

I got the $2.69 cereal for FREE. Sweeten the deal with the following coupons.

A Full Cup has Target generator coupons. Choose $1 off Kellogg's and print it 4 times.
Go to coupons.com to print out various Kellogg's coupons depending on the cereal you eat.
Go here to get $1 off 3 boxes plus additional coupons on other cereals to add in.

Here are my coupon totals
$4 from afullcup
$1 from Kellogg's website
$.75 for Honey Smacks
$.75 for Rice Krispies
Total coupons: $6.50

Average out the price for all 4 boxes of cereal: $.69 each

Now I just a few gallons of milk!!

Point of View

Have you ever had something happen, or not happen, and you immediately became upset, angry, or frustrated? Then you found out the back story of it and felt like a heel? How much more kind and compassionate would we be if we, especially myself, saw things from a point of view other than our own? I know that I might be a bit more hesitant to kick my feet and throw an all out tantrum for not getting my way or having others agree with me.
Acts 10 tells a story about God revealing animals to Peter in a vision and telling him to kill and eat. Peter refuses because they are unclean. Acts 10:15: "What God has made clean, do not call common." This was to prepare Peter for a visit to Cornelius, someone who a Jew would not associate with, ended up being saved and having the spirit fall on him. No, Cornelius didn't have to be circumsized or convert to Judaism, he only had to believe. This was how God intended it to be. No rules to follow in order to be accepted, but a heart that thirsted after him.
Acts 11 continues the story where the Jews could not believe that Peter had went and ate with these "other" people. So, Peter told the story and how God showed him nothing was unclean or common. When the people heard this point of view, they "fell silent" which led them to glorify God.
All it took was to hear another point of view to make them silent and realize who are they to stand in God's way?
The lesson I have learned is that maybe I need to not be so quick to jump to conclusions and make my mind up about people and situations, but to hear their point of view, be silent, then glorify God.

Memories

On Friday I loaded up the girls and we headed down to Glen Rose, TX where my grandparents live. I have not seen them in years and my girls have never met their great-grandparents so I figured it was time. The girls did great in the car and thank Jesus for answering that prayer. The house looked the same, my grandparents looked the same, and the house smelled the same. It brought back so many good memories of spending time with them playing outside, riding go-carts in the field across the street, and playing in the workshop. I was so happy to see the girls running around under the huge trees. We headed out to lunch with Granny and ate Dairy Queen. You know you are small town when that is about your only option! We headed out to the park where Abbie kept telling Granny to watch and it was so fun to watch Granny push Abs in the swing. I think she enjoyed it too! After wearing Granny and me out, we headed back to the house where Abbie played catch in the living room with Pa and Ellie just ran around getting into stuff.
I am filled joy that we were able to go and see them and spend time with them. It was so cool to have my girls meet their great-grandparents and for them to meet their precious legacy. I secretly think they were thrilled we had come too! I am eager to go back and share more precious memories.

Proverbs 17:6: Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

30 and Fab

My new motto is, well, I don't really have one. I will say I now know my age when asked. For a while when I was 27, 28, and 29, I would just forget how old I was when asked. Seriously. I would have to figure out the year I was born then do some mental math which alone should be avoided. But I have arrived. I must admit I had put much fear into turning 30. I typically make things way worse they should be. I had tons of fun hanging with friends and getting a break from parenting for a night. I think parents should do that more often, especially moms. For those about to be 30, it really isn't that bad. Now 40...that will be another story!

Good Night 20-something

Tonight I will go to bed and say good-night to my twenties. I have wrestled with this and there is no going back, right? When I wake up tomorrow, I will be 30. An age that seemed so far away is lurking. I must admit, I have accomplished much in my twenties as noted in my other post, but now it is time to move on to a different decade with new challenges, growth, trial, heartaches, and joy. I am praying to embrace my birthday with joy and excitement. To allow others to shower me with love and presents---I mean praises. To be ok with this moment in history because God wrote the book. This is how he intended life to be until all things are restored. I am reminded of Psalm 139 each and every birthday because the LORD formed me, he is always there, he knows me, he loves me, he created me to be uniquely, individually his. To this I must say, thank you God for birthdays. Thank you that I can celebrate with friends and family and thank you for blessing me with another year of life. So, Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear meeeeeee, happy birthday to me!

Virtuous Woman. Me?

Proverbs 31 is by far one of my favorite books in the bible. This world is well, worldly, so I have to step back and see who God says who I am to be. I can't let the world define me by telling me how to look, how to dress, what to drive, or where to live. I can't let the world define me as a mother on what my kids are enrolled in, how advanced are they, and how you working to overcome their weaknesses? I can't let the world define my marriage by doing whatever I feel is right and usurping the God given call on my husband and being his holy spirit. I go back to the scripture and let it define me. This is a very slow process and much against the world's view for a woman. After all, we are to be achievers and go getters and balance work, kids, marriage, extra curricular activities, bake homemade cupcakes, throw together a Martha Stuart dinner while planning classroom parties without batting an eye. This is not me. Never has been. Never will.

The bible tells me clearly I am more precious than jewels (even the $66 million heist in Britain) and my husband trusts me. The virtuous woman works, takes care of her servants, her children, she is business savvy. She speaks with wisdom (in other words, knows when to keep her mouth shut!) and when she does speak, it's kind. It is not about my looks (praise God!), but about fearing the LORD.

What I have been thinking upon today is Proverbs 31:12: She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life.

Wow, no matter what Brian does or says, the bible clearly lays out that I am to bring him good. Every day. Which led me to think, how do I bring Brian good? Is it what I think he needs or what HE needs? In turn, wives, how are you bringing your husband good? What areas do we need to surrender to the LORD so that he can manifest himself in our marriages?

When I get to heaven, I would like to meet this Virtuous Woman and thank her for setting an example of what can be done when I completely lay my life before God. I may never be able to do all the things she does, but I can focus on those I am good at and ask God's grace on what I am weak at all the while, bringing my husband good and honoring God. After all, that is what it is all about.

Tick Tock

I can hear the clock ticking till my birthday. I had a great lunch today with Heather. Probably the last time we will dine in our 20's together. She will be 30 before me, well, 3 days before me. We are both trying to have good attitudes about this landmark in our lives. I am praying to accept this with dignity and grace. I will be 30 and that's that. Her motto, "30 is the new 20." I like that.
What have I accomplished in 30 years?
Skipping through my happy childhood, which it really was, I have graduated high school, completed college in 4 1/2 years with a teaching degree. I was married at 21 (just celebrated 8 years together), first job soon following our marriage, first baby at 25, second baby at 28, quit teaching after 7 years to raise those sweet babies, and am now entering my Jesus years.
All in all, these 30 years the Lord has given me have been a time of change and growth otherwise known as sanctification. I am definitely more chill than I use to be (can you believe that?). I care less about what others think and more about what God thinks. I am learning that Jesus is better than things and I truly can live without the trinkets, even though I must admit, I still really like. I have walked alongside my husband who has been caring, loving, supportive, unselfish beyond degree, amazing, kind, generous, humble, servant-hearted, and has a faith that can't be shaken. Who puts his own needs aside and is willing to sacrifice whatever to keep me home to raise our children in the Lord and to teach them about his love and commandments.
As the time ticks closer to 30, I have to see what the bible says about age. Proverbs 16:31 says, "Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life." Now, don't misread here, I don't yet have gray hair but I will most likely cover it up, but then would I cover up the righteousness I have found in Christ? I digress. Gray hair is linked to aging, and the bible says it is from a righteous life. That is what I want, a righteous life, even if it means gray hair--and the Lord helps me accept that humbly!

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Some think I am crazy and turning a bit nerdy and that might be the case, but when I win a new Sienna, you won't think that. I worked as hard as possible to enter as much as possible, but I do know that others entered more than me. I did pray for God to show favor and allow me to win. Honestly, I did. But there is probably someone else more deserving than me, but I prayed any way. I am taking part of Huggies Enjoy the Rides Reward. Totally free. You earn points, you spend them. All free. You can enter sweepstakes or Instant Win. The new set of points and prizes are out starting today. Now I will try to win a gym set for the backyard!

$1.85!!

I am so excited about my shopping trip to Target. Here is what I bought:

1 Cheez It Whole grain $2. 99 $.75 coupon off Total: $2.24
5-8 count of poptarts $1.52 a box $.75 off coupons (I printed 5) Total per box: $.77
4 boxes of Raisin Bran $2.19 a box $1.50 off 2 boxes coupon Total per box: $1.44

Total Bill: $19.35
Coupon Total: $7.50
Final Payment: $11.85
Mail in rebate: $10.00
In the end, total paid: $1.85

Needless to say, you don't have to ask what's for breakfast :)

P&G esaver

This only works for Kroger and Tom Thumb. Sign up here. Choose the coupons you want and voila! It's automatically loaded onto your preferred customer card!

Kellogg's Buy 10 get $10

I have done the dirty work to the best of my ability to get you the fastest way to $10! I go tomorrow to see how it pans it out but until then, here is what I have done.

Kellogg's is doing a Fuel for School where you buy any 10 Kellogg's product, and get a $10 rebate. Go here to get your rebate. It's on the bottom right. Click on it, and it prints your rebate and list of qualifying purchases.

How about some coupons?
This is one of the best places for coupons. A Full Cup. You need to sign up. Once you do, on the home page, there is a tab on the right: Target Coupon Generator. This will pull up any coupons for Target at this time. Best part is, you can type in how many of each coupon you want. So I chose the poptarts to get $.75 off and I had it print me 5!!
On a side note, on the website click on the tab at the top Coupons, choose printable coupons, and you get about 38 pages of coupons and there are tons of ways to search for what you are looking for!

Raisin Bran is on sale at Target for $2.19. Here is a coupon for $1.50 off 2 boxes. Make them $1.44 a box!

Cheez It for $.75 off Whole Grain only. (Scroll through this link for other coupons including Kellogg's)

The 100 Calorie coupon has reached its limit. Sorry.

You can also go to google and type in the search what you are looking for such as: Cheez It coupon. This will help out tons. But again, A Full Cup so far is the best!

I will write tomorrow how the deal goes!

Sinned Against

I can say in my life that I can't recall a time that I have been sinned against where I didn't contribute to the situation. Until this week. I can't explain the pain my soul felt and the tears that were shed. It was something that I hope you never feel, but if you do or have, we can rejoice that we are suffering like Jesus. This pales in comparison to what he felt on the cross when the weight of sin was on his sinless shoulders.
I find the timing a bit ironic since Beau, the campus pastor, was teaching out of Philemon where Paul urges Philemon to receive Onesimus back as a brother and to forgive this runaway slave who stole from him. Corresponding to the prodigal son where each of us were runaways and have been received by the father. Here are two things I have learned in the past couple days.

1. Atonement: Christ paid the debt. The end. It is not my job to make this person pay for their sin. Christ did it on the cross and for me to "make them pay for this" defeats the purpose of the sacrifice. I think it would be a slap in God's face for me to try to take the place of Jesus.

2. Forgiveness: Just like Philemon was urged to forgive, God tells us to forgive our brothers so that we might be forgiven. If I don't forgive, I am not forgiven. I must never forget that I have been received into the hands of God and am under his authority now. I must believe and apply the gospel of forgiveness with his help as to avoid bitterness, anger, self righteous pride and so on.

This was not an easy process but was quick I must say. I went straight to the throne and asked God to help me and I poured over the bible as to how I was to respond to the situation. Amazing how when you press into Jesus, you can truly forgive, no bitterness, no anger, no remorse, no sorrow, no guilt, no more pain, replaced by acceptance, joy, peace, grace, and mercy. This is not me who accomplished this process, but only the work of Jesus who was able to mend my heart and bring glory to him. Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Even when we are sinned against.

Pain and Suffering

Sometimes I just get a breath of how painful life is. I sit back and know that God is control and wonder how he chooses to intervene or not. I read emails about our friends whose son is trying to recuperate from a heart transplant to a family in Ohio (I am assuming) whose in the hospital with their baby boy and the doctors are telling the family, "it doesn't look good."
I gripe and complain that my house is a mess, there is yet another load of laundry to do, another meal to cook, but my kids are healthy. They are safe.
My heart goes out to the these parents who deal on a constant basis with hospital visits and life changing decisions that must be made. I can't even imagine what it feels like to do kangaroo care with your baby in hopes that he might have his temperature rise. Is there any length that you wouldn't go to?
Oh how that is the heart of Christ. That he sees our pain and suffering, and as a gentle parent he wants to kangaroo with us, to draw us to hear his heartbeat alone, to rest in his arms and to trust him. Really trust him in all circumstances that the God who spoke the world and put in motion, took time to create us in his image, knows our hearts and minds, and pain and suffering is used for our sanctification and his glory. On this side of heaven we may never know why God chooses as he does, but we must rest in the unchangeable, unwavering, always consistent God of the universe.

Rare Day

Today was a rare day for me. I took the girls to go hang with Courtnee then went grocery shopping. I came home and cleaned the house, worked, worked out, and then was done. With a couple of hours to spare. That is a rarity for me! I decided to go get my sweet tea at McAlister's since it was free and got a BLT minus the T and ate there. By myself. Now, there would have been a day I would not have been caught dead eating lunch out by myself. I am super self conscious and the whole time I would have been wondering what others were thinking or saying about me when in reality, they probably didn't realize I even existed. Not today, I sat down, sighed, and just enjoyed. Then heard the screaming kids next to me which made me glad I was alone! Is that what kids do to you? Make you come out of your comfort zone and relish the quiet moments anywhere you can find them even if it means eating by yourself? For that, thanks girls for helping this momma very slowly learn how to not care what others think and just enjoy.

Well...

Last night Brian came out to the conference to have dinner with me and hear the speaker all which was good. Then we I showed him my room and I began to get sad because I would have to stay there by myself without him or the girls around. After 30 minutes of debate, pros/cons, I came home to sleep in my house, my bed, with my family. So, I just can't be away from my loved ones. Maybe one day. Just not today.
I will head back to the conference this afternoon to finish it up. Until then, I get to be with my family.

Conference Time

Tomorrow I will leave and head out to Ft. Worth for a conference for my company. Now, I have NEVER been to a real conference before where you go and stay, even in all my 7 years of teaching. So, there are questions that I have that are pretty dumb like, do they foot the hotel bill? If not, I'm sleeping in the car and taking bath in the pool. Well, I will more than likely come home instead, however, the other might prove to be more cost effective. Also, do I have a room? If so, do I share? How do I feel about sharing a room with a stranger? Now, I poke fun, but really, I have no clue what to expect, what is going on, and I don't know anyone. Except Courtnee. And I think she might be busy working.
To top it off, I have to leave my family. I love my family so much that it would be an idol for me. (I am working the steps folks, just takes time). Not that Brian won't do a great job and have tons of fun, but because I might miss out on something and I don't like being left out. Kinda like that one episode on In the Motherhood. Ever seen that show? I like our times together as a family. I relish them.
I have also come to sense a bit of guilt for my hidden excitement to get out of the house and be real adult around other real adults. The only problem is that I don't have any kids to blame the food stain on my shirt on.

New Heart

Our friends precious boy (age 11) had a heart transplant on Friday night that they have been waiting on. He is doing good now but not out of the woods. I can't imagine as a parent what that must feel like to go through that. The other night he coded and was out gone for 15 minutes before the heart started again. I am not sure if there is anything more helpless than knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do but trust in the sovereign Lord that his way is best.
I began to think of how something like this is what God desires for each of us. New hearts. Where we take out the old that is broken, beat up, and not functioning to full capacity, and he wants to sew his heart within us that brings about the fullness of life that he intended. I can't help but be reminded of what Ezekiel 36:25-27 says:
I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.


Just as Austin received a new heart physically, the Lord desires to give us a new heart spiritually. I continue to pray for Austin, his parents, and the doctors but more than that, that lives would be transformed by the power of prayer and the worship of believers that God can transform the old into the new.

Finding Balance

Now that Ellie is mobile and into everything, I often find myself telling Abbie to share, even if Ellie has forced herself to play. I find myself telling Abbie that Ellie is just a baby and doesn't understand. Then I began to realize that I was letting Ellie get away with almost anything! I have to find balance between both sides. Where Ellie learning and part of that is telling her NOW that Abbie is playing and will share and having Abbie share when appropriate. Boy, raising two kids has more challenges than just one!

Ellie is 1

My sweet little Ellie turns 1 tomorrow and I can't help but look back over this long, hard, fun, challenging year. So much has happened during this past year that I thought I might actually have something to say about it.
1. Ellie started off life rough. She was a colic, reflux baby who threw up on anything, anyone, everywhere, all the time with perpetual heartburn. She also had thrush that settled into her esophagus. The bonus: she slept through the night at an early age and PRAISE JESUS for that!
2. She loves her momma! She wanted me to play with her while standing her up, facing me, and nothing else would do. That alone was exhausting! She started to crawl finally at 10 months and our lives have forever been happier!
3. I quit my job and trusted God. He was faithful to give me a part time job at CDO then eventually to work at iteachTexas from home. It has been so hard to trust that we would be provided for. If you were to lay the budget out on paper, it does not work. We should be greatly in debt each month. Yet, somehow, we are not. I have no clue how God works that out each month!
4. I have learned that having 2 kids is way harder than 1! Abbie needs time, love, and attention while Ellie demands time, love, and attention. I have had to try my best to find a balance to top of my strong Type A, selfish personality who likes to get things done, NOW, and be a mom. I have to pray daily for God to help me engage my children. That is my job.
5. I am a better wife (I think) and a better cook (quite sure about that) than I use to be because I now have time to do that.
6. Abbie has grown up this past year as well and has adjusted perfectly to having another sibling in the house and kudos to her! She has been a great help to me and loves her sister so much that I pray for God to allow that to continue throughout life.
7. I have learned that when I trust God, am obedient, confess my doubts and fears, he instills peace that can only be from him and he gives me strength, mercy, and grace for today.
8. I appreciate the cool mornings and warm days, the stormy mornings drinking coffee eating breakfast with the girls, the park nearby, the zoo passes, and friends way more than I use to. I use to sit in my classroom thinking, I would love to go ______ with Abbie. Now I can.
9. I am where I know I am suppose to be. No matter what we have had sacrifice, I have seen Ellie each and every day of the first year of her life. I have seen each victory and trial. I have been her mommy and that, is something I can say I will never regret.

To you Ellison Noell, I love you and thank you for teaching me to be a better leader, lover, encourager, helper, friend, and mother.
Happy Birthday Little Bit!

Menu #3

Here is what we are having this week.

Spaghetti w/ Meat and a good ole can of spaghetti sauce. I do add red wine after the meat cooks then let the alcohol cook off before adding the sauce.

Taco Salad We just do meat, fritos, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, hot sauce, catalina dressing.

Tomato Chicken Parmesan This is going to be new.

Breakfast Casserole For Mother's Day breakfast.

Steak and potatoes for Mother's Day dinner (per my request!) Kroger has their meat on sale for a great deal! And 4 baked potatoes for $1.99.

Crockpot Fajitas If it uses a crockpot, I will try it! My tortillas were on sale at Kroger for .99.

Happy Eating.

Menu #2

Some recipes we have had this week.

Creamy Tortellini This meal was really good. Next time I might consider adding more bacon :) I made a side of asparagus as noted below.

Cheese (or Beef) Enchiladas For this one, I used beef and a can of enchilada sauce. It was kind of bland. I think next time I will try the homemade sauce. Also, Brian loaded up his with hot sauce and sour cream and liked it. I served it with just corn and chips and hot sauce.

Asparagus I used to not like asparagus but I love it now. This is really yummy.

Bacon Wrapped Hamburgers We are not eating this this week, but I wanted to put them up because this hamburger is to die for (in my opinion). I absolutely love this recipe!

If you want to leave a short note if this is beneficial through Twitter or Facebook, that would be great!

Happy Cooking!

Installment 1

Here are some dinner ideas to get you going. I linked what I cooked to the website and wrote any changes that I made. Enjoy!

Quick Fix Beef Burrito Skillet I substituted the dry kidney beans for a can of black beans that I drained. We also just had corn for a side.

Slow Cooker Enchiladas One of my all time favorites! Plus you can use the mass amount of corn tortillas you buy for this recipe and the one above.

Oven Fried Chicken This is amazing chicken! I buy the mashed potatoes in the frozen section (with the fries) that cook in the microwave for 10 minutes and doctor them up and buy frozen rolls that take about 5 minutes to cook to make a full meal. Abbie loved this too.

Bachelor Stew This actually mine!
Ingredients:
1 lb ground beef
1 can vegetable soup
1 can ranch style bean

1. Cook meat in a large pan then drain.
2. Put the vegetable soup and beans in and simmer for 30 minutes.
3. We like to top with cheese and tabasco sauce and Brian smashes saltines in his too.

We do a side of corn bread too.

That's all I have for now! But more to come as I try them out.

Quietness

I got to thinking the other night but just now have time to write. Have you investigated the quietness of the soul? I think there are 3 places we (I) run. Either I drown out the soul with busyness or TV or anything other than facing my heart. Sometimes in the quietness of the soul I think of things and begin to worry and be anxious and fear begins to resonate until I am beside myself. Then there are times where all is well and I can face it. Where I just am and it's good.

When the site is down...

...you don't have to work!
What a fun fun day! We hung out at Fuzzy's for lunch with the Hipp's then headed over to the square for candy and proceeded over to the square for some hanging time where people struck a mini band and played and sang. Only in Denton would that happen. Later tonight we head off to Mr. Chopsticks for Brian's birthday dinner with his parents.

Going Good

I was talking to a long time friend of mine of just how God has been so amazing to us and that I needed to blog about it. As you may have read, I have a new job that is amazing and has allowed me to stay home and not go back to teaching. I am very excited about this. We are at a place in life where we went 6 months with nothing extra and barely making it to having an excess. The one thing Brian and I are praying for is protection over not falling back into old habits where we go back to charging whatever we want, but to realize we have been given a gift by God and we are to use it wisely. We want to be generous givers. Brian is natural at that. Me, not so much. I am greedy and stingy and don't like giving because, after all, the money is mine, right?! Now, you might say, "That sounds cold." Well, I must speak the truth of my heart and bring it into the light so that I can't hide in darkness and be given over to sin of greed. I have been praying for a few months now that God would give me heart of flesh. This will be his under taking and him alone who can do that.
Brian and I are wondering who can we help? Are there friends in need? Who could use a happy present? How can we go beyond ourselves and instead of having things terminate on us, let it terminate onto God? He has done something amazing and for me to be prideful, selfish, or greedy would be to deny my God the glory of what he has done. And that is a place I don't want to ever go.

Waterfall

I am so excited about my new job. I started grading yesterday. I have been praying for wisdom and fairness in my grading as to bring glory to God in this endeavor and benefit the candidates.
I began to think about this amazing job that seems too good to be true. Matt Chandler has been talking about going deeper this year and having hearts transformed and pressing into God. We can't just sit and wait for it to happen, but must put ourselves under the waterfall of God's grace for it to wash over us.
I have to say that I think this is how my job came to be. By putting myself under God, I went through Step Studies and have a better understanding of how to do life and deal with sin. Through obedience and devotion that has been hard for me, he has washed over me. Praise him for that. Now, I have to learn to stay here and not move.

I Have A New Job!

In case you didn't hear, I have a new job! I am so excited about it because I was probably going to have to go back to work teaching. I will be a grader for iteachtexas and I am so excited because it is still tethered to teaching and I can work from home a few hours a day. With this new opportunity, I will be able to stay home with my girls and Abbie is excited too because she told me she wanted me to stay home with her then was excited that I would get too. Ellie didn't have much to say on the matter. Diann, who founded the business, is responsible for hiring me. After praying much for God to get and keep me home, he has used this wonderful woman who was obedient and kind hearted to extend me this position. I thank God, through a humble obedience and a step of faith back in July, that this is where he has brought our family. I would have never in my wildest dreams would have thought this would be the road, but it proves once again that God knows more than me and certainly has things better laid out than I could. Praise his name. It's all about him, for him, and by him.

Car

Poor Brian has been trying to sell our car for 4 months now. We can't even give the thing away. By selling the car, we will get out from under a car payment that will hopefully help us keep me home. Lots of people call and never call back or say they are interested and disappear. I know he is frustrated with the whole thing. We are willing to take a hit to sell it. In fact, we are in order to get the price as low as possible. I won't beg or plead for it to be sold or grovel. But it that is what it takes, I will!
To you the reader (I think the only one who reads this is Erin--thanks Erin! ) please buy our car.

Framed

Tomorrow I am going frame shopping at the Dollar Tree. I am a big spender huh? Step Studies class will officially be over on Saturday. Such a bitter sweet day. I have walked with about 11 other ladies over the past 16 weeks who have opened their lives and struggles and have gotten to see healing and restoration and a good sort of pain that keeps us the feet of Jesus. It will be sad to leave them. It won't be sad to have our Saturdays back! Yahoo! 

To commemorate this experience, I am going to buy frames---hopefully---and put what I would consider the Step Studies Verse in the frame to remind us of where we have been and where we need to be. Then each person will sign the back of the frame that will forever remind us of our knitted hearts. How precious this time has been and I thank God for landing me smack dab in the middle of this. 

Thus says the LORD:"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land.
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose trust is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Step Studies Update

So here I am about 14 weeks into step studies and it's a 16 week course. It is based off the AA 12 step model but biblical truths that lie behind each one. I am so grateful to have done this and see how God has been working on transforming my heart into who he wants me to be and not what I have created myself to be. I have been praying for my heart of stone to be replaced w/ a heart of flesh and for God's spirit to sustain me and lead me on his path. That is a slow process that is taking time. I shared my inventory with my sponsor and it was very freeing. That is my Ebeneezer. Which makes me think. How come in the church we don't begin to teach children at a very young age to recognize sin and sin patterns in their life, teach them to confess, then repent? How much easier would it be if we grew up with this way of thinking? It's kinda like I had to do catch up for the past 29 years of sin. From here on out though I can recognize my sin and deal with it immediately instead of stockpiling! I think going through this process will help me be a better parent in that aspect but I have to pray for God to protect me from being critical of others who don't do the "steps" and protection from self-righteousness but instead to lead a life of humility. Ahh, the call of a follower of Christ. Thank goodness for grace!

Satan's Getting Evicted

I have been feeling this oppression lately and darkness over me. I thought I was pregnant (no, I'm not, praise God!). I have been irritable, short tempered, and just not me. It is all coming together now. I know spiritual warfare is real and I am getting a taste of it personally. In step studies, we are now the part of our inventory. This is where we look at our lives and and find all the sin and write it out and how it affects us and others. This is when we shine light on the darkness of our heart and the wickedness that resides in us. It is not much fun to find out all the things that are wrong with you, much less have to confess it openly with a sponsor and pray repentance for each sin. Satan is getting angry because if I expose the lies that he has told me and believed, he no longer has any power. He's getting the boot. Fired. With this process, however, comes pain. I am praying for perseverance.
I sat down and began to write out part of my inventory today pouring out my sins, beginning the repentant process, and there was a weight lifted. There is something about shining the light.
The next step is true repentance. Turning from my sin. Completely away from it.
I pray that once these steps are taken (and will continually have to be revisited), that I can walk in true freedom under the cross of Christ who has already paid my debt to sin and that satan can no longer have a hold me because I am holding on so tightly to Christ.

Pay Day

Most people are excited about pay day. Today was my first CDO check. It was something less than desirable. Almost a little sad. I began to work on the budget for the upcoming month and I am scared. My heart just sank and I am worried. (I know that worry is not biblical!) I am now beginning to wonder for real how we are going to make it. This month marks a "real" month since I no longer pull in a teacher salary. I know God has called us to this point in our life. I know he has us exactly where he wants me---totally dependent on him. I have to pray for protection against doubt and fear and that I would completely trust him to take care of us. I know he can. I have to be willing to let go of the control I hold, and allow him to be God. Frightening for me. He is going to teach me so much during this time and I think humility might just be the first step!

Step Studies

Today I embarked upon Step Studies at our church. It is a 12 week process where you deal with the "junk" in your life. Perhaps you might have some sort of addiction, or co-dependency, or have life issues. This is where you shine the light in the dark places of the soul and reveal yourself to others and come clean. My friend Beckie is doing it with me and I think Brian might join in too. Nothing like unloading a lot of baggage! My prayer through this process is that Satan would have no reign at all and that I would be humble, open to change and transformation, that my eyes would totally be open to who I really am and who Christ really is and experience true freedom. I pray to not walk away defeated and beat down, but that I can lay all my sin on the cross. After all, He has already died for all my sin---past, present, and future.

Thanks Honey

Tonight at dinner, Abs and I were eating her all time favorite-pizza. Third time in 2 days we have had pizza. We were sitting there and this is how it went:
Abbie: I love you very much
Me: Ahhh, thank you. I love you too.
Abbie: That was very sweet.

Yes, yes it was sweet of you to notice you were sweet.

That's Mr. Mister Manager

I am proud of my husband who has been promoted in his job to be a manager. He will be over the reporting team and in addition to that, he gets to travel (his passion) to churches to find how to better serve them with the reports that exist or need to exist. I am proud of his hard work. He started in support three years ago, no degree, and no computer knowledge. God has blessed him in his ability to learn through hands on and books and a sponge for a brain. I am proud of my hubby! Congrats honey! With a humble heart and servant's attitude, may your skills be used to further the kindgom of God.

Work? Been off for 3 months!

Today I reported to work for CDO and I am stressed. There are lesson plans to be made, things to be cut, items to be pulled from shelves, and little 4 year olds to teach. I am use to 4th graders. Slight difference. I hope it all falls into place! Thursday we have meet the teacher and school officially starts next week.
It was nice though to see Abbie so happy that mommy was going to school with her and she wanted me to go in with her. Of course dear, I work here. It was nice to have Ellie with us too and able to take peaks in to her room.

What's Your Motive?

Today's sermon was one of those, "Got me. That's me" sermons. It was out of Luke where Jesus teaches his disciples to pray. To sum it up, prayer should be about God, to God, for God, to glorify God. His prayer was all about God--hallowing his name, asking for just enough strength, mercy, and grace for the day, forgiving others, and needing help in this life. Then the question came: What is the motive behind your prayer? Ouch. That stung. Most of my prayers are self-centered. An example of one of mine is: Jesus, please fix Ellie to be happy. What is the driving motive: to make life easier for me. Does that glorify God or does that become and idol in my life where I want that more than God? I pray for the spirit to keep this sermon fresh on my heart, to begin to pray prayers that are God-centered, and to be mindful and repent when they are selfish.

Goodbye

Today marks an important day. It is my last day to receive a paycheck from work. Now, we will really see what this faith thing is about. I am worried, scared, number crunching, and just don't see how it is going to work. I know we are where God wants us and I am home because he has called me here. This coming month will definitely begin to put things in perspective as we live off Brian's check and my CDO.

Back To Work

Wait, I don't have to go back to work. I don't have to get early and try to get everything done before the house awakes. I don't have to get children ready for day care. I don't have to have someone else take care of my kids while I work. I don't have to be out the door by a certain time. I don't have to worry about team members and meetings or lesson plans. Wow, for the first time in my life, I won't be teaching (I don't really count CDO). This is going to be weird...

Thrush

We went Tuesday for our checkups for the girls. Abs for her 3 year and Ellie for her 2 month. Everyone is doing great. We have a few things to work on with Abbie and Ellie still has thrush. This is basically a yeast infection in the mouth. Hers will not go away so she is on Diflucan. Come to find out, thrush can settle in the esophagus and cause irritability. Hmmmm.....she has been on it 3 days now and we have already seen a huge difference. She is smiling more and cooing and is almost, dare I say, happy? So, was it thrush and the meds that have helped? shots? just being 2 months? She has even gone to bed by 8:30 the past three nights too! Things are finally looking up and praise God alone for that one!

Have you Wii'ed Lately??

Brian bought us a Wii Fit and I love it. I have thoroughly enjoyed the yoga and strength training. I love how it uses the board to see if you are doing everything correctly and you get immediate feedback. When I logged in and set up my Wii, it was a bit depressing when it did the BMI because my Wii got fat. That's encouraging. I have about 15 pounds to lose to get back to pre-pregnancy weight. I am hoping this new game helps. There are a few things though I would like to change.
1. Compete with each other without having to log out then back in.
2. Create a workout that flows instead of having to choose each one separately and waiting for top scores.
3. When it gives you an idea to do another workout, why not be able to click on it as a link instead of going to find it.
Those are things I would like for it to do differently. Other than that, I love it! You should definintely Wii.

Affair

I am having an affair and I told Brian. It's with my slowcooker. I am in LOVE with it! We invested in the slow cooker liners by Reynolds that you place in the slow cooker then throw your stuff in and cook away. When you are done, pull the liner out, and voila! No mess (very little--maybe a rinse). I have found this has saved me much time and headache. Melt down is usually around dinner time so during naps, I put the slow cooker on and come dinner time, it's done. I just love it. I am looking for good slow cooker recipes and Allrecipes is where I have been but just can't find too much. I did find a chicken alfredo recipe. I used the Classico brand and in the end we added egg noodles. It was yummy and Abbie loved it! I recommend that one for sure! If you have a good slow cooker recipes, please share!

10:15 pm

Here it is, 10:15 and Brian now has assumed Ellie duty. She has been crying/fussing since 8:15 tonight. She is tired but won't sleep and when she falls asleep and you move, she wakes up screaming. I do mean screaming. We have the door shut to try to keep Abbie from hearing her. Today marks her 8 weeks in this world with 6 of them with terrible evenings. Tonight takes the top prize though. I have never seen her like this. I have been on her behalf before the throne asking for mercy, relief, and peace over Ellie and this house. That anything evil would be dismissed and for the angels to minister. It is sad when an 8 week old baby cries and has real tears from pain. What is a mother/father to do? How do you help them? The only thing I can say is that she won't remember this (the rest of us and the neighbors will!). Thank goodness.

Tired

Last night was a rough night. Ellie actually played on her play gym and smiled. It was sweet. Abs was at grandparents so that was nice too. Then, 10:00 rolled around and from there till midnight, Ellie was another creature. Screaming, not sleeping till finally we curled up on the couch together and slept. This morning, still crying, not sleeping. Of course she is right now :) The sling works wonders but that doesn't help me at night. We bought Gripe Water and that tends to be the best remedy thus far. Brian has a call to the doctor to see if I need to begin to weed out things I eat to help her. Is she colic? Milk sensitive? Is it her personality? Is she angry?? There are so many questions right now and no answers in sight. I have to turn to God to help me. I pray a lot for help. That my heart would be in the right position to help Ellie and not be frustrated. To love on Abs when I can and often. I have to totally lean on him for help. Even with all that happened last night, I am not too tired. That is Him giving me strength. Abbie being at grandparents when Ellie had meltdowns I believe was him too so that Abbie wouldn't be disturbed. He works in ways we don't think of.

Party Fun

Today was Abbie's birthday party and it was so much fun. We had our trampoline, swing set, small bounce house, pool, and slip and slide. We ordered pizza and had cupcakes and all kiddos got to decorate their own cupcake to take home in a cute cupcake holder. We had lots of kids and friends over and it was so much fun opening our home to everyone. We are going to try something new today too--formula. As you know, Ellie is a bit grouchy and maybe formula might do the trick because it could be something I eat that just sends her tummy off. I am not thrilled about this because it makes me feel, well, like I have failed in some way. Those magazines are right---if you don't nurse, you feel like you are not mom of the year. I will try formula though and if it helps Ellie, that is all that matters! I hope this helps. Any suggestions? Anyone?

Moved to Tears

Things have been very crazy. As most moms know, your day is full of things to do and when two kids don't nap at the same time limits your ability to get things done. Throw on doing a load of laundry a day because your small one spits all the time and colic in the evening (and fussy mornings) can make your nerves shot and a three year old who needs your attention and is dying to play a game with mommy. How do you balance it all? I have not figured it out yet. Tonight though was different. Ellie was pleasant with very few fussy moments and my husband drew my attention to this and said, "Praise God." Yes, praise God. At that moment I began to tear up (and am now as I write) because it has been so hard. Brian is a huge help and even with two of us, it is still tough. I don't know if this was just a good night or if God is allowing the prayer of healing upon our child, but praise his name either way--for healing Ellie or teaching me some character building.

Colic Anyone?

Ellie has colic. Let's just say it is not fun. She spends most evenings screaming and crying whether holding her not. It is pretty crazy around here during this time and most of us can't have a conversation over her cries and Abbie will say, "I can't hear." Me too honey. There is not much we can do except hold her and that takes up a lot of time. So, anyone had a colic baby with some ideas?? We could use some help. The upside is that the doctor said it should be done 6-8 weeks. She's 6 weeks old. Then to top it off, she has reflux. Lots of it! The upside is that she will out grow it in 4-6 months. Needless to say, there is something I am suppose to learn from this experience so I have to be open to that whole sifting thing I mentioned to get out what is in me that needs to be gone. I hope I figure it out soon. Until then, scream on Ellie, scream on!

Sifting

I believe I am about to enter into a time of sifting, just as Satan had asked to sift Peter. Now, I don't know if the devil has asked but I do believe God has some stuff to sift out of me. With me not working, we are taking a huge pay cut and in order to do that, we are forfeiting some things in our life--both good and neutrally moral. We are giving up our Compassion Kid and sponsoring our friends on The Traveling Team. Those are good, but we have to. Hopefully God will make it possible for us to sponsor them again. Neutrally moral things are just the fun things we enjoy doing. So, He will be sifting out of me liking creation more than the creator, aspiring for stuff, eating out just because I don't want to cook, going and doing just to go and do. He will be instilling into me a heart of contentment, gratitude that I can be home, and a humble heart that seeks him more than anything else in this world and turning me toward worship and a faith that he will provide even when I don't see how. Well, at least that is what I hope to get on the flipside, if not more. With a prayerful heart I enter into this season and ask for strength to be broken and built up in his image.

Transform

Today was Transform with our church. This is where we choose a place/location where we can help clean things up by painting, repairing, etc whatever needs to be done. Our location for Denton was Calhoun Middle School. This school is older and needs to have much done to it. Our goal today was tape and paint classrooms. We took Abbie and Ellie with us. Needless to say, I didn't do much. Brian was a taping fool though. It is cool to see so many folks give up their Saturday mornings (and for others, the whole day) to help out. Many were painting, taping, and working in the flower beds, and making stone paths. All to love on these kids, teachers, and administrators with no expectations. Very cool to love like Jesus.

HR Anyone?

After 3 days of trying to get hold of HR, I was finally successful. On Wednesday, I took my letter to HR to ask for a "nurturing leave of absence." I am waiting to hear if it is approved. I don't think it hurt that I had my two kids in tow! They thought were super cute (so do I) and wished me the best. I have to decide by February 1 if I will be returning because a leave is only good for one year. This will at least give us time to see if this whole stay at home thing works out! God has already provided one way by offering Brian a drum gig on Sunday at another church--and he gets paid! Who would have thought. God sure does work through ways we (I) don't ever think of. How creative of Him.
Oh, and last night I ran for the for the first time in 9 months. I ran 1 1/2 miles and it felt GREAT!!!! I can't wait to go again. Tomorrow. I am a little sore today :)

New Beginning

June 5 we were blessed with the arrival of our 2nd child, a girl. Her name is Ellison Noell and we call her Ellie. We have another daughter Abbie who is almost 3. I have prayed for 3 years now to be a stay at home mom and we haven't been able to afford it. I will be quitting my job and we still can't afford it but we are stepping on faith that God is going to provide. I am scared, frightened, and excited because this faith thing is hard for me. It will be a test of daily sacrifice to my wants and dying to the world. It will be realizing the only thing we get is Jesus and that is what matters most in this world. I am eager as to what God will teach us during this process and how he will provide. I will get to be with my girls and know their hearts and nurture them. I am excited about that! My goal is to keep up with this blog thing (as you can see it's not my strength) to mark the path of being home and no longer working (well, a job that pays) and trusting God more than I have ever had to. I step out in faith knowing the God who fashioned the world and knit this desire to mother in my heart will be glorified beyond anything I can imagine. Praise be his name.

Healing

Over the past three weeks or so, Abbie has had something of some sorts. We went to the doctor with a cough and fever and ended up getting x-rayed for pneumonia which was really bronchiolitis. Yeah, we are better. The fever came back and back to the doctor we went and it was the beginning of a sinus infection. Antibiotics take care of everything. Right? No. She wakes up today holding her right hear and crying in pain. Now, she has tubes so there should be nothing wrong. Right? No. They get us into the doctor thankfully about 4:15 and the doctor checks out her ear and says it must be her right one. Yes, doctor, it is. The tube she has in that ear is not draining the puss like it should so it is getting backed up causing pressure. Lovely. He gave us some antibiotics for the ear and a higher dose orally to try to knock all this out. If the ear drops don't work, we will have to go back to the ENT and possibly have the tube removed and another put in. She has spent most of the evening in a horrid mood, crying, fussing, and not wanting anything except to "rest mama" but even that can send her off screaming again. Now she is down to sleep. Hopefully all night. Oh Jesus, I know this is least of what it could be but we need that little girl completely healed! Please pray that these medicines do the job for her and the pain is subsided very quickly.

Doctor Visit

After waiting at my doctor's office for an hour and a half I had a lot of time to think. Sitting mindlessly I brainstormed an idea for doctor offices. They need little games for you to play like Cracker Barrel does. Those type of things to get you through the wait. Even have some Sudoku puzzles available. When I finally got back they weighed me (everyone's favorite),took my blood pressure and asked how I was feeling and I was able to hear the heartbeat (even at 10 weeks and having to hold my breath). She said all was good and then I left. This all took about 7 minutes. As I was leaving all the lights were being shut off or already off. Fighting traffic during Denton rush hour I was finally reunited with my family where my wonderful husband had cooked dinner and had it on the table ready to eat. I guess waiting isn't too bad when you don't have to cook!

Early Christmas

Today I got an email from the principal about our Christmas gift...which is a good one. Now some you say, "You already get two weeks off. What more do you want?" Jeans for a month. Yes! Jeans every day for a whole month! Now that is a Christmas present I can use.

Holiday Break

I must say this has been a great holiday season. It has been so relaxing and easy! We haven't done much and just enjoyed. The weather has been cold and now it's cold, rainy, and cloudy. The house is decorated for Christmas and it is just so much fun. I love it at night when the house is quiet and the tree is lit and Christmas music is playing. That just quiets the soul. Abbie is taking long naps which helps me get tons done so that when she is up we can just play. Then I keep thinking how weird it is to be our last Christmas together...just the 3 of us and how my time alone with her is passing by daily. Now I know the new baby will bring much joy but it has to do with change and now it not only effects us, but another little one as well who might not understand why her world is turned upside down. That is why I am already praying for her now. Next year we will be a family of four...:)

June 28, 2008

That is the official due date of Baby Vinson. Yeah!

It Did

She was up at 6. Her normal 7. Hopefully the nap will sort her out now...

Backfire

I hope my plan doesn't backfire. I let Abbie take a LONG nap today. 3 1/2 hours. She finally woke up at 4:45. Now, I would have normally already had her up and going but my thought was there is a time change so technically, this is 3:45. Then, I will let her stay up till about 8:45-9:00 so she will sleep late. Now, I am not sure if this plan will work. If not, she will be up with the birds! Thus, meaning I will too. Now, you are thinking that I will be use to the time I get up with her but there is something about that clock saying 6:00, and not 7:00. Cross my fingers, all 8, and my legs that this works!