Pay Day

Most people are excited about pay day. Today was my first CDO check. It was something less than desirable. Almost a little sad. I began to work on the budget for the upcoming month and I am scared. My heart just sank and I am worried. (I know that worry is not biblical!) I am now beginning to wonder for real how we are going to make it. This month marks a "real" month since I no longer pull in a teacher salary. I know God has called us to this point in our life. I know he has us exactly where he wants me---totally dependent on him. I have to pray for protection against doubt and fear and that I would completely trust him to take care of us. I know he can. I have to be willing to let go of the control I hold, and allow him to be God. Frightening for me. He is going to teach me so much during this time and I think humility might just be the first step!

Step Studies

Today I embarked upon Step Studies at our church. It is a 12 week process where you deal with the "junk" in your life. Perhaps you might have some sort of addiction, or co-dependency, or have life issues. This is where you shine the light in the dark places of the soul and reveal yourself to others and come clean. My friend Beckie is doing it with me and I think Brian might join in too. Nothing like unloading a lot of baggage! My prayer through this process is that Satan would have no reign at all and that I would be humble, open to change and transformation, that my eyes would totally be open to who I really am and who Christ really is and experience true freedom. I pray to not walk away defeated and beat down, but that I can lay all my sin on the cross. After all, He has already died for all my sin---past, present, and future.