Misconception

I have had my husband ask, "Do you still like being a SAHM?" My answer is a resounding, "YES!" I could not imagine getting three littles up in the morning to get them to daycare then off to work for me then pick them up, cook dinner, do laundry, clean house, homework, spend quality time with them, put them to bed only to start over again. I just can't imagine.
Three has proven more challenging than I had anticipated. There are parts that are super easy then there are parts that are super hard. Mostly like the hard is because I am super type-A without being OCD (I think) so any little glitch sends me off my schedule which in turns makes me stress out. Now, I am quite aware of this fault of mine and perhaps even need to pray for transformation in this area a bit more but it doesn't excuse my behavior of of, "Where did the vacuum lines go and why are there toys hanging from the ceiling fan? What were you thinking?" I need to give that up-they're littles.
I have in my head this "idea" of this mom I want to be and I am awesome, but then reality kicks in and Brynlie is crying, Ellie and Abbie are fighting, dinner needs to get started and that awesome idea flies out the window.
Perhaps what I need to do is dump this idea of awesome mom and just be the mom my kids need me to be. Perhaps it's not about being this person but being who I am and just loving my kids, extending mercy, giving praise, encouraging them, and perhaps even let vacuum lines go.

Why Not?

Well, it's been a while since I have been able to sit and blog. Can't imagine with three kiddos needing me, cooking, cleaning, running errands, changing diapers, cleaning, working, cleaning (apparently we're dirty or I have high standards).
Brynlie is growing like crazy-length wise for sure. I have estimated that I have not had a full night's rest in approximately 5 months. I started sleeping terribly as I got towards the end of pregnancy and well, newborns aren't concerned with how little sleep you get either. I am constantly exhausted and literally go to bed at 8:30 just so I can function during the day. I keep telling myself it's a season. I know it is.
To add to change (new baby, one in kinder, and a 2 year old-enough said) we are looking to move. We have put an offer in a house and have had it accepted and are just now waiting to get our house sold. That means being ready at given moment to have a clean house and leave for them to come see it. We have had 9 folks come see it but no offers.
I pray that the home and location we choose would be exactly where God wants us and where we can do the most for Him and the same must be true of those who buy our house-that our house would be the perfect home and location where God can use them or others around us can lead them to Christ. Until then, I sit. And wait. And decorate the new house in my head. I'm becoming mentally attached.
This weekend we take our first road trip as a family of 5 to Austin to see the Laurie Berkner concert. The best part, Bryn loves to cry in the car seat. So I say, why not?

Darkness

Have you ever been in a season of your life where you just feel...darkness? Everything seems to be going wrong (in other words, not how you want it)? No matter what you can't seem to get ahead? I am there. My soul is so tired. And so is my mind. I mean just worn out, nothing left to give tired. I go to bed at 8:30 at night and crash. I can barely make it till then. It's up during the night to take care of Brynlie then up at 6 to start the day which doesn't stop.
I struggle with trying to find time to workout (which isn't working out), work, and dinner. If it's not frozen these days we most likely won't be eating. I miss cooking. Juggling my own self destructive thoughts and allowing bitterness and anger to seep in which is just resulting in a defeated heart. Just an overwhelming sense of....restlessness?
Our Gospel in Life study this week has been idols and boy do I have a few that I need to contend with and ask God to give me victory in. I think Satan knows this too and is just throwing these idols in my face and warring against my soul. Thank goodness Jesus can conquer.
I know this is a season. I know Jesus is Lord and has given me these trials for my sanctification which means for my good and his Glory. I am praying for victory over idols that have long needed to die and that I might have true victory over them through Him. I am praying for my soul to not be downcast but to put my hope in God. I am praying that the things I "know" about God would become my "beliefs" and that I would be unwavering. I need the true gospel, not this religious thing I've created, to sink into my heart.

Heart Behind Nursing

Brynlie is now 9 weeks old. I am not a fan of nursing and not because of her but me. I began the quitting process only to find I'm back on. Why? Because God got a hold of my heart. You see the whole plan was to stop nursing to get a prescription from my doctor that aides in weight loss. All so I can fit in a pair of jeans to feel better about myself. Here's the problem though, I will still dislike myself, size 4 and all. I didn't like myself then and I don't now. I can always find flaws and things that need to be fixed. To try to find my security in my weight and looking to a medicine to be my savior is all idolatry. The Village Church is working through a study church wide called Gospel in Life. The upcoming lesson is on idolatry and yes, when you care about how you look or how much you weigh it becomes your idol. I also revisited J R Vassar's sermon about fear of man and find myself there as well involving my weight and how I look. No matter what people say or how many compliments I get, until God changes my heart I am doomed to this sin cycle. I am praying for God to break me of this selfishness that exists and may my weight no longer own me but Christ would be sufficient.
I am now nursing again after God clearly put these circumstances in front of me to lead to me to obedience which is never easy especially when I would choose another path which could become destructive. I would love to love myself and truly have eyes to see how he's created me to be. Until then maybe it's time to go shopping and get new pair of favorite jeans until my others fit.

Stresses

Been a while since I blogged. Can't imagine why! Things are going well with a 7 week old baby and two other kiddos. Better than I ever expected. One thing that is lacking is sleep and I am ready for Brynlie to get on a better schedule. It makes me tired but I know God has been gracious to give me the energy to take care of my family. Then crash when they go down!
I would classify this as a season of stress, which as I write makes me realize I am missing his blessings in the process. New baby, little sleep, Brian is traveling a lot leaving me to get everyone up in the mornings and down at night including cooking dinner, cleaning up, showers, pj's...the whole deal. To top it off, we have decided to put our house on the market to move closer to Brian's work since his commute is gradually getting longer with traffic which means vacuum lines, clean counters, and putting shower towels in hiding.
These are stresses that are going on right now. But only if I let them stress me out. Which is hard for someone who is not a "go with the flow" person. I like answers such as: When will the house sale? Where in the world are we going? When will you sleep all night Brynlie? I am looking for these things to be answered, to be my security instead of trusting God and his sovereignty to reveal, show, open up and give when it's time.
My prayer is that until then, that I will focus on the cross and it's saving grace, that God's mercies are new every morning, he will never give me more than I can handle, therefore I am right where he wants me. Dependent. And that is something I must learn.

Letting Go

This is from my sweet friend Patti who the Lord used to speak truth into my life and peace. May it speak to your heart as well as we leave out little ones in, but not of, this world (school).

It is from Jesus is Calling by Sarah Young and is written as though Christ was writing to you!

“Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into my protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart; you endanger that one-as well as yourself. Remember the extreme measure I used with Abraham and Isaac. I tool Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship. Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father’s undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.

When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. As you entrust other into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My Presences will go with them wherever they go and I will give them rest. This same Presences stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do. “ Jesus Is Calling, Sarah Young

Tight Rope

These days I feel like I am on a tight rope. Not a place I like to be because I like to be centered, stable, balanced, and being a tight rope requires me to fully focus on everything around and not lean towards one way or another. I am finding that balancing 3 kiddos is a bit challenging in the "attention" area. I focus mainly on Brynlie because, well, she needs me the most. I then have Abbie who helps me so we communicate, but then there is Ellie who seems to be transitioning a bit slower to a new sister. If I don't pay attention, she gets upset, and in the process Brynlie is crying too and Abbie needs me to "watch" her again. It's a never ending pull that I can't seem to balance because someone is always left out.
I know this will be, that each kid will not have individualized attention at all times, but how does a mom balance quality time with each kiddo when each kiddo feels like they need you all the time? This has been one of the biggest challenges I've noticed. Then to top it off, Abs starts kinder on Monday and this is Ellie's playmate. I can only pray over what will happen when Abs starts school and it's Brynlie, me, and....Ellie.

Lunch Box Ideas

Here are some ideas for packed lunches.

Main Dishes
Mini Ham and Cheese Quiches
Soft Chicken Tacos w/ Cheese and sour cream
Pizza
Sandwich
Annie's Stars (Think Organic Chef Boyardee-buy at Target)
Meat, Cheese, Crackers (homemade lunchable)
Crunchy Baked Mozzarella Cheesesticks
Corn Dog Muffins
Pizza Muffin (Recommend sending side of pizza sauce for dipping)
Grilled Cheese put into warmed thermos
Hot Dog (put wienie in warmed thermos and have sides for them to put together)

Another website with ideas:
Easy Lunch Boxes


Sides
String Cheese
Grapes (try freezing them too)
Strawberries
Oranges
Goldfish
Pretzels
Pirate's Booty
Apple
Raisins
Bananas
Banana Chips
Yogurt
Carrots
Ritz Crackers
Popcorn
Pineapple
Pickle Spears
Nuts
Trail Mix
Annie's Organic Fruit Chews
Archer Farms Organic Strawberry Fruit Strips


Maybe this will help with, "What's for lunch?"

Pride Comes Before the Fall?

I have to admit. I am prideful. Not in a good way, but in a selfish way. I don't ask for help and I don't like for people to help me because after all, I can do it and if I can't, something must be wrong with my perfectionism and if I ask for help then I am weak. I know what I write is foolish and my brain knows it too, but my deceitful heart tells me otherwise. Anyone else?
These past couple of days have been good but evening comes and I am one tired mama! I know Brian has been busy at work and it's hard for him to balance work and home and I understand that so when last night rolled around and I was tired, sick, and had a headache, and short tempered, I knew I had reached the end of my rope, I had to relinquish the household to him which he absolutely did with a servant's heart, however, my heart was defeated because I should have been able to "hang in" there and his day had been just as long as mine.
So, as a new mom again, who has a Type A personality, who likes to be able to do it, come to a place where they realize they can't and that God created marriage so that we can help each other? For me, this is revealing a weakness, but I think in hindsight God had to get me to a place, gently, where I have to realize I am not superwoman and that Brian wants to help and is very good at it. I can't say enough about how much he has done and there is nothing I could ever do or give him to show my appreciation and that he sees that I need a break and is willing to step in and tell me to rest. Which is exactly what I needed. Thank goodness I finally submitted and did what he said.

1 Week Done

It has been 1 week since Brynlie was born. It has gone much better than I could have ever anticipated. Brian has been instrumental in helping out during this transition. Abbie has taken a liking to her "favorite" sister and Ellie tells me, "You hold it." She'll get there. Sleep has been off and on but better than anticipated but ready to get a good solid sleep, in my own bed. Me and the chair have become too good of friends over the past week. Today we bought a Sleep Sack Swaddle. I am hoping that this will enable Itty Bitty to sleep a bit better during the early/late part of the night.She's great at sleeping in the very early morn hours.
Challenges are coming. Brian will be traveling soon for 2 days then for a week also Abbie will start Kinder the day before he leaves. That leaves me with 3 little ones trying to get one to Kinder-on time and balancing everything else. I'm already praying up over this!
God has been good and gracious--nothing I deserve and I know this full well. I can only thank him for what he has given, continue to ask for what I need, and wait on Him.

Epidural Now! Please

Thursday, July 29th was the birth of our third little girl: Brynlie Hope. And she's a cutie weighing in at a full 5 lbs 12 oz and 18 1/2 inches long. When they handed her to me I couldn't believe how little she was. (Abs was 5 lbs 13 oz and apparently Ellie was our chunker at 7 lbs 11 oz). But how she got here was not part of the birthing plan. Mine had full use of drugs in mind, but God, well, he had another plan.

10am: Doctor appointment and was dilated to a 3 when the good doc stripped the membranes which he said would cause labor in 24-48 hrs and if not, come back Monday.

11am-ish: The girls and I picked up lunch and came home just waiting for the water to break or contractions to start. Absolutely nothing happened. All day. No pain. No twinges. Nothing. Even after researching about stripping of the membranes I realized it most likely was not going to work because of the overwhelming replies I could find of women who said it had been ineffective. (Later Dr. Wilson told me it works with women who have had children prior and are dilated to at least a 2) Brian and I talked about him going to work on Friday because she wasn't coming-even though I had my heart set on it.

6:30pm: Headed to the park with the girls to "walk" her out :) When I walked quickly, I felt pressure but when I slowed or stopped, so did the pressure. We came home, bathed, watched a bit of TV with the girls, read them bedtime stories and tucked them in around 8.30.

After 8:30 pm: I worked "just in case" and did laundry and began to feel cramps but figured they were Braxton-Hicks as I have had before and continued on with our evening. The cramping did get a bit worse but I thought "real" labor pains were in the back because that is what I had with Abbie. I did begin to time them around 9:30 and they were about 5 minutes apart.

10 pm: Our insurance has a nurse hotline where you can ask questions. She informed me they don't have to go the back and that if they are 5 minutes apart for an hour, head in and we were closing in on an hour. (At this point, I was just embarrassed I'd show up at the hospital and it would not be real).

10:15 pm: Called my mom to come over because we were going to check it out. The pain was intensifying. Told Brian to not call Dr. Wilson till we got there just in case it was false. (You would think I would have understood the "realness" by now). I figured we would get to the hospital and see what they said.

10:30 pm: Jumped in the van to head to hospital. Told Brian that we needed to page Dr. Wilson. Along our drive Brian made a funny little comment about needing to get gas. Um, not funny in the middle of a contraction. Maybe I can snicker a bit now.

10:45 pm: Entered the hospital in quite a bit of pain with contractions and managed to shuffle to L&D. Brian signed us in and off to room 7 we went. Got all the hospital stuff on and the nurse guessed I was at an 8. She was wrong. She said, "No, you're at a 9. No, you're complete. The only thing that kept you from having that baby at home was that you're water didn't break."
I requested an epidural. Several times. Was denied every time. No tylenol. Not even baby tylenol. It was going to be natural. This was not part of the plan.
There were nurses everywhere. Taking blood, putting in IV's, asking me questions. They were getting ready for the very soon to be birth.
What I remember was pain. Just a constant amount of pain. I now know why women on TV scream. It hurts.
By this time, Dr. Wilson had been called and must have drove 100mph to make it. He came in, put on his gear, popped the water and said, "Push." And I did. Boy, those contractions hurt but I did what I was told to do then I heard something that almost panicked me. The cord was around her neck and her heart rate was dropping. Dr. Wilson had them put NICU on standby "just in case". He told me to focus and that we needed her out now. I just prayed God would protect her. (Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had to cut me in order to his finger in to unwrap the cord from her neck.)

11:31 pm: Brynlie was born. Safe and sound, a bit banged up. They did have a NICU nurse come in and check her. During this time I could see her, but not hold her. They wanted to make sure she was OK and that was fine by me. They took her away to check her breathing and then brought my little girl back where I thanked God she was OK.

All in all, labor was about 2 hrs. All natural. At the time I would not have chosen this route, but now that it is over, I am glad that I got to experience a natural birth. So now, Brian owes me a bumper sticker...or a badge.

Change is A'coming

Brynlie will be arriving soon. First off, I hope it's still a Brynlie! That alone would bring more change that I can comprehend right now! I am very excited about having another little one and so are the girls. Ellie tries to pick up my tummy, "Heavy." Abbie likes to talk to her through the belly button. It's been fun to see their excitement and they are ready to meet her too. It will be nice to begin to be "back to normal" or whatever that new normal will look like on me.
There are also many apprehensions I have. 3. Nonetheless, 3 girls. No longer will Brynlie be in utero and easy to tote around, she'll be in a carrier. No longer jumping up to run to the store or go out because baby in tow is weighty. Sleepless nights are inevitable. I am dreading that the most. I have been praying for God to give the gift of sleeping at night to her. I just don't know how to handle two active little girls with no sleep and Abbie will start Kinder and we have to be at school everyday by 8. My job doesn't offer maternity leave, however, it does offer me the ability to work whenever I can and I will have to adjust not having a "block" of time to sit and knock it out. It will be hard to adjust to that.
There are so many positives and even what I consider negative, I must see as sanctification!
Another sadness is that I feel true peace about this being the last pregnancy. Part of me thinks wow, this is it? No more moving tummy or kicks? No more big belly where I don't have to suck in for a bathing suit? So many women would love to be in my position and I must see this is a true blessing from above and cherish these fleeting moments. Part of me is sad about that, but the other part is ready for nurture our kiddos and see what God has in store for the trio.
Thursday is around the corner. I just pray I'm ready!

Mind Control

Do you have an over-active mind? I do. I can have Brian dead in an instant (sorry honey), me, a widow with three kids to raise, selling a home to move into an apartment, wondering how to provide financially. My other favorite (sarcasm) is to have the house broken into when Brian is gone and what my plan of action would be. I have it all figured out.
The problem with these thoughts is that they are well, not good for one, and unholy for another I'm pretty sure. These thoughts are not thinking on things above.
I have been watching Joyce Meyer in the mornings to get my day going and am having to yet be reminded of the mind. That I am to think about what I am thinking about, that I can control my thoughts, and that the devil will plant little misconceptions in my mind to make me think upon them. I must be vigilant and put up walls around my mind, to take captive every thought and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). As Romans 12:2 states, I am to have my mind renewed. This means I am transformed from the inside out, to think upon his glory, his ways, his truth, and to allow the spirit to change me and to begin to think with the spirit and not the flesh. This is something that I cannot do on my own, for I have tried, but must rely on the spirit to change me. I think it's time for me to be vigilant about this area of my life.

Financial Trust

I find myself in a difficult situation. Mainly because my trust in God is lacking in a particular area. Finances. When I quit working two years ago to be a full time SAHM, I knew there would be sacrifices. We never lived luxurious lives, but we were never without want or need. In the beginning it was hard to say no to many things we use to say yes to but as time progressed, the "living more simply" has become easier, not easy. The finer clothing lines are no longer appealing, perhaps because I have no longer can afford them? We have never been late on a bill or not had food to feed our kiddos. Looking back at the past nine years of our marriage, God has always, and I do mean always, provided. So why do I struggle still?
I feel much like an Israelite out in the desert who is on the right track for a time then falls off when I don't "see" God working and then begin to look within my own heart to figure out how to make things work. God has me in a job that is totally dependent on him. No new candidates=no paycheck. And this is smack dab where he has me. No candidates are available this month and that means no paycheck which means we are stretched thin right now.
My head knows the past faithfulness of God but my idol-making-deceitful-lying heart is telling me otherwise. How do I get what I know to be true about his faithful provisions to drop into my heart so that I no longer let the flesh live but instead, feed the spirit? This has been a question that I have asked God for a long time. Perhaps now he has me in a place where I have to focus on him to provide completely, totally, fully and to at last, trust.

Hand Raising Worship

I have been in church for almost 25 years. Wow, that's a long time now that I look at it. I know that we were created for worship and either our worship will be on target, the creator, or misguided on the created things. In church, particularly the music, is a time to sing (or make a joyful noise as Psalm states) to God and praise him. So often in my head I let "loose" and could see myself dancing around and having a good 'ole time praising God but alas, my introverted self would never ever do that: bust a move in church. In my head though, I'm having a good time. Now, this is not with every song but sometimes, I feel the urge.
Recently I began to think about eternity and how I will be praising God and worshiping him forever and I am quite sure that hands raised in the air will be something that I can't resist but will join with all the saints and sing my heart out. Maybe even bust a groove. Maybe.
I had to finally get over my self consciousness in church and raise my hand. I have found this posture of worship very uncomfortable for me but thinking ahead to eternity, I thought I would give it a shot. There are times I still feel uncomfortable and that is when I have think on things above. Then I think, should I raise my right hand, or my left? Maybe both? I quickly respond no to both. Then a verse comes to mind:

Isaiah 44:20: He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot deliver himself or say, “Is there not a lie in my right hand?”

This verse leads me to raise my right hand for the sole sake of opening any lies I hold dear to me and giving them to God, releasing what I hold dear that is not of God, but of man.
How about you? Do you worship with hands raised? Do you determine which hand to raise during which chorus or verse? Perhaps I still have a ways to go on this hand-raising thing, but hopefully one day, with abandon, I won't think through the motions but rather just celebrate with the spirit.

Not Really a Marriage Expert, Just Have Experience

Yesterday we celebrated 9 yrs of marriage and it was fun to sit with Brian (on a date, no kids!) and think about our wedding day and what we remembered.
In the beginning of our marriage, I would have to say that Brian did whatever it took to keep the peace and let me do pretty much whatever I wanted because confrontation would resort to temper tantrums and one angry wife who can give the best cold shoulder. If there were arguements Brian would pursue me to solve the situation whereas I would shut down emotionally and be done and "deal" with it. This has been pretty much how things would go--when it came to pointing out my faults. Please don't misread this--this happened on occasion and has not been an every day issue. Just pointing out a few incidents over the past 9 years to get to my point.
We went through Step Studies at The Village in fall of 2008 to learn how to confront sin, repent, and make amends. This in turn has began the process of an ongoing process for life in general and to really look at the heart and why we respond the way we do and what sins we tend to lean towards.
Brian is still the peacemaker and I still find myself selfish way more than often that I want to be and am constantly struggling to put death this earthly flesh and to clothe myself in righteousness. Brian now will confront my issues openly and honestly and I know that my response is not always pleasant for him, but when I get with the Lord, search my heart, I know where my fault lies and where I need to repent and ask for transformation. I know Brian does this because marriage is sanctification. A reflection of Christ loving his bride, the church. Brian's job is to love me, correct/rebuke when needed in love, and I am to submit to him and his authority.
Brian has grown so much in his walk with Christ and what it means for a man to lead his home in a Godly way. God has given him a huge task to undergo, especially dealing with me and soon to be 3 girls! When I sit back and think about the call on a man's life to lead his family, it makes me glad to be a girl.
Marriage is to be a reflection of the gospel for those who are perishing and hope for those who know Christ personally. Brian and my marriage is a reflection of the gospel for our girls and that is something that can't be done without help of the spirit daily.
I have been blessed by a man who loves me, knows my every fault probably more than I know my own, he knows my tendencies, what "triggers" certain emotions, what I love the most, and who would do anything in the world for me. Kinda reminds me of what Jesus has done for me and that is a picture of what Christ intended marriage to be.
I have much to live up to with Brian as my husband but must rest in Proverbs 31 and the characteristics of a virtuous woman. I am to bring honor to my husband every day, to serve my family, be wise with what have, and to fear the Lord, and that Brian might be respected at the city gate.
My goal in marriage is to have my heart be transformed (quickly please Jesus) to "be" more than I "do" and to find community within my own family, digging into the life and thoughts of my husband and children and seeing this process as a blessing and to not make light of it. "Being" around the house is not sufficient. Engaging is.
Brian, I love you and what you do for this family and your heart that is so passionate to see Jesus glorified not only in our marriage, but in the lives of our children, in your work, and in the giftedness you have been given.

To Spank or Not to Spank...

I was watching GMA this morning and the great spank debate was on. My palms got sweaty and my heart racing because I feel passionate about this subject. I am sure each parent does and therefore, takes their stance. I will give you mine first and then tell my reasons why, biblically. We spank. There. Said it, now you know.
On GMA the grandparents spanked their grandchildren, not the parents, that is where I differ on the subject. Only parents should be the ones spanking because they are the ones responsible for training the children. Grandparents, or any other adult in the child's life, should not do this and should consider an alternative, like timeout, and then allow the parent to decide at a later time if a spanking should occur. Spanking should not be placed in the hands of any adult, except for mom and dad. Period.
Proverbs 13:24 comes to mind for most: Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Biblically-balanced discipline never physically endangers a child. (pg. 109 Shepherding a Child's Heart)
What does this mean? Spanking shows love. BUT, spanking has boundaries.

What spanking is:

Parental Exercise: Goes to what I said before, parents only!
Act of Faith: God has mandated its use.
Act of Faithfulness: In discipline, there is hope, expression of love and commitment.
A Responsibility: It's not to punish but the parent should obey God's word and what God has called the parent to do.
A Physical Punishment: It is careful, timely, measured and controlled, never for venting. The child knows how many swats are coming.
A Rescue Mission: The child has become distanced from parents through disobedience and the spanking rescues the child from continuing in foolishness. The only reason for a child to obey mom and dad is that God commands it. The child has failed to obey God, not you {the parent}.

What is NOT:
Not the right to unbridled temper: You can't throw temper fits!
No the right to hit our children whenever we wish: Spankings are used in context of correction and discipline, not whenever you want.
Not venting of frustration: Spanking should not be used to vent frustration.
Not retribution: The parent does not exchange retribution for the child's wrong. It is not punitive. The goal is restoration, not to have them pay for their sins (Christ already did that).
Not associated with vindictive anger: If you spank because the child has dishonored God, this is righteous anger, but, if you spank because if it's because they have done something against you or you want to make them pay, unrighteous anger.

How do you spank?
1. Take them to a person place.
2. Tell them what they did.
3. Make sure they understand.
4. Remind them you are restoring them to the place of promised blessings from God.
5. Tell them how many they will get.
6. Spank.
7. Tell them you love them and hug them, tightly.

All controlled. All to restore them back to the place of promise.

What I personally do (right now with Abbie) is to to get down and ask what happened and why she's getting a spanking. Tell her how many and spank her (usually a wooden spoon, sometimes my hand), then she must tell me, "I am sorry for ______" and not just say sorry, she must take ownership of what she did. Then, she must say, "Jesus, I am sorry for _____." This is to let her know that she has sinned against God and his command to obey and honor.

I dare say that even Dr. James Dobson would agree with the use of spanking in controlled situations where the parent is not acting out of anger, but again, is in control of themselves (and if you're not, please step away from your child and compose yourself!).

This is not an excerpt to say I have never sinned in my own spanking for I have and have repented of where I have been wrong. Nothing more humbling than to tell your 4 year old that mommy got angry and sinned against them and then to ask for forgiveness. Rather, it might give you a biblical perspective of what spanking is and how it can be used to bring glory to God.

Hebrews 12:6-11
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Blessings

I think most people have in their mind what blessing means to them (or, at least I assume). What automatically pops into my head tend to be financial blessings or that of health, perhaps even in general, answered prayers.
I am someone who always wonders, ok, perhaps sometimes even stresses, about how things are going to get taken care of. Like when the toilets needed repair along with the A/C and the sprinkler system, all at the same time and of course none of that was included in the budget. And what happened? We were provided for only by the hand of God. It happens every month. For the past 9 years (well, July 7 with be 9 years!). One would think that I would get it through my thick head that I can trust God (completely, totally, all out, without a doubt) and his providential hand by looking at his past faithfulness when I have been so much less. Why would I feel or think anything less?
Which leads me to baby #3 and wondering how in the world we can make it all work. I can become so wrapped up in my thoughts of everything a baby needs, which I have become more practical as time has progressed, but some things are non-negotiable such as: diapers and wipes. My sweet friend Jenny stepped in to answer this prayer by giving me a diaper/wipe shower along with my other dear hostesses: Beckie, Staci, and Patti. There was a need that needed filling and these sweet ladies loved me enough to help out. It was small, intimate, and perfect. And I must say, the gift of diapers and wipes, that will last at 3-4 months I am sure, is to me, a blessing.

And The Middle Name Is...

Ellie came into this world on June 5. On June 6 it was time to fill out the birth certificate where Brian and I had a strong civil conversation on how to spell her name, one l or two? We knew her name all along but apparently had forgotten to discuss spelling. Thus, Ellison it is--2 l's.
Abbie had been easy and we named her from Abigail, David's wife in the bible, and Ellie was a spin-off of Brian's grandma, Nellie.
Keeping with the "-ie" trend and realizing this is our last child, and a girl, we needed to have Brian honored somehow and that is how Brynlie was born. Part Brian, part -ie. Learning from our "hospital discussion", I knew we needed to discuss spelling of her name prior to birth and that is when the voting began and we now agree on the spelling.
The second hard part is the middle name. Trying to agree is like trying to tell a skunk not to stink. Not happening. Then some things came to mind. Instead of trying to find that perfect middle name that flows, what if we chose a name with meaning and depth? Is it ok that her name doesn't flow as well as I would intend it to? Yes, because her meaning is more important that the way it sounds.
Brian and I began to talk and my New Year's Resolution (remember yours??) was simple: Hope in God. Brian has been drawn to the verse: Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. (Psalm 43:5). One day our hope will no longer be hope because we will know as we are fully known.
Catch the theme?? So, soon enough, we shall bring forth a baby girl, who I hope will know God and find her security in him, hope that God will be faithful to save, hope in something bigger than us, hope that we have a future with the sovereign Lord, Brynlie Hope, we can't wait to meet you.

Water Park Insecurities

I have spent a lot of time at the water park over the past few weeks and there is an issue that keeps coming to my soul. Insecurity. Could it be that I just read Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity? While there, I see many women in bikinis and granted, some wear them nice, others, well, let's just say sometimes more is better. My judgmental mind and heart take over and I compare myself to these woman and how I look. Now, some of you are thinking, "But you're pregnant!" Yes, I know, but in my head, I'm not. This thinking alone is damaging to my soul and who God created me to be. I am to compare myself to him and his acceptance alone-not other women. We are made in the image of God and should be image bearers. Does that mean that bikinis are the best way to reflect this image? Now, to those who own a bikini (as do I, but it gets worn in the backyard with a wooden fence around me, however, woe to the neighbors with 2-story houses), this is my insecurity coming through and what God is laying on my heart. May God deal gently with each of us for what we choose to wear, or not to wear.

What message is being sent in these tiny pieces of clothing? I personally opt for the tankini and skirted bottom because I have yet to come to peace with my thighs. What message is sent when women wear these bathing suits to young, impressionable girls? If I struggle, will my own girls? Will they begin the cyclical sin cycle of thinking, "But I don't look like that." What message does it send to young boys, single men, and dare I say, married?

What about younger girls? Teenage girls who wear tiny bathing suits and go to water parks with prepubescent boys who most likely aren't following your behind because they think you're smart. Does this begin to foster respect for the opposite sex or further drive young hormonal boys to "be boys?" Does this type of clothing take away the dignity of women of all ages and make us part of the ever pervasive hypersexualization? To be sensual is to be sexy?

I am a sinner who struggles with self-image (obviously, right?) trying to raise 2, soon to be 3 girls in a culture where less is more and demanding dignity and respect is counter-cultural. I am to raise them to respect themselves, their bodies, and who Christ created them to be, in Him, to have others not look or judge them for their bodies, but their soul.

Which leads me to this, now what? Now that I have put this out there, what do I do about this situation? How do I teach my own girls--who wear two pieces that cover or a 1 piece--that we are to respect ourselves and demand respect from others? How do I teach them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that culture will always tell them otherwise? Perhaps as women we should consider what we wear, water park or no water park, and think about the message we are sending to future generations of young girls. I want my girls to be wives of noble character, who open their mouths with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on their tongue, and who brings praise to their husbands at the city gate because, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Week 2 Menu

Here are some recipe ideas, recipes, and a rough grocery list. It might help the week go a bit smoother knowing what to cook.
Week 2

Monday
Skillet Burrito
Corn

Tuesday
Fettucine Alfredo
Garlic Bread
Salad

Wednesday
Calzones
Salad

Thursday
Honey Lime Chicken
Rice
Egg Rolls

Friday
Hot Dogs
Chips

Grocery List:
Black beans
1 lb ground beef
hot sauce
ground cumin
corn tortillas (the big pack!)
shredded cheddar cheese
sour cream (optional)
Lettuce (optional)
Tomato (optional)
Corn in freezer section that you steam in microwave
2 jars alfredo sauce
egg noodles
frozen chicken (for 2 meals)
parmesan cheese
swiss cheese (optional)
pizza dough
spaghetti sauce
provolone cheese
salad
pepperoni
garlic salt
oregeno
honey
soy sauce
lime juice
egg rolls
rice
chips
hot dog buns
hot dog weinies



Skillet Burrito
Black beans, rinsed, drained
1 lb ground beef
1 C hot sauce
2 tsp ground cumin
salt/pepper
4 corn (flour) tortillas-cut into 1 ½ inch squares
1 C Shredded cheddar cheese
Corn
Garnish: tomato. Lettuce, sour cream, guacamole (if you want)

Cook corn to directions. Serve as side.
Cook meat and drain. Add salt/pepper/beans/salsa/sumin/1/2 C of water. Bring to boil, reduce heat, simmer 5-10 minutes.

Stir in tortilla strips, top w/ cheese. Remove from heat, cover, let it set to allow cheese to melt. Serve w/ garnishes.

Fettuccine Alfredo
• 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cubed
• 2 (16 ounce) jars Alfredo pasta sauce
• 4 slices Swiss cheese
• 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• salt and pepper to taste
Directions
1. In the crock of a slow cooker, stir together the chicken cubes and Alfredo sauce. Cover, and cook on Low for 2 hours. Add Parmesan cheese and Swiss cheese; cover and cook for another 30 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through. Season with garlic powder, salt and pepper and stir in cheeses before serving.
2. I add cooked egg noodles in the end. I skip the swiss cheese.

Calzones
You can make your own dough or buy pizza dough.
Flatten out, cut into long rectangles. Top with pizza sauce, provolone cheese, and pepperonis. Roll up. Brush with olive oil and sprinkle with garlic salt and oregeno. Cook in oven according to the pizza dough directions.


Honey Lime Chicken
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/3 cup soy sauce
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 4 (4 ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
Directions
1. In a resealable plastic bag or shallow glass container, combine the honey, soy sauce and lime juice; mix well. Add chicken and turn to coat. Seal or cover and refrigerate for 30-45 minutes. Drain and discard marinade. Grill chicken, uncovered, over medium heat for 6-7 minutes on each side or until juices run clear.

Menu Week 1

I created this for a friend who typically doesn't write our their menu for the week then create their grocery list based off the menu, which is how I operate otherwise we wouldn't be eating anything but Cheerios. Here is a menu for this week including all the recipes and grocery list. The grocery list is simply that, a list of what you would need. Check your pantry and fridge to see what you have and what you don't. Also, it is possible I have forgotten to add something. I have three more weeks worth I will post over the next 3 weeks. Happy eating!

Monday

Mashed potatoes

London Broil

Tuesday

Macaroni and Cheese

Eckrich Sausage

Wednesday

Red Potatoes

15 Minute Marinade Chicken

Thursday

Hamburgers on grill

Chips

Friday

Homemade pizza dough and sauce

Grocery List:
London Broil-2 pounds

Cream mushroom

Tomato soup

Dry onion mix soup

Mashed potatoes (freezer section)

Mac n cheese

Eckrich sausage

BBQ sauce

Dijon mustard

Lemon juice

Dried tarragon

Frozen chicken

Pepper

Red potatoes

Honey

Cheddar cheese

Parmesan cheese

Hamburger buns

Bacon

Worcestershire sauce

Ketchup

Onion

Egg

1 ½ lbs ground beef

olive oil

flour

whole wheat flour

active dry yeast

Italian seasoning

15 oz can tomato sauce

dried oregeno

basil

garlic powder

onion powder

mozerella cheese

pepperoni

London Broil

• 2 pounds flank steak---I like to use the London Broil cut of meat bc Kroger sometimes has it cheaper.
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed tomato soup
• 1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix

Directions

1. Place meat in the bottom of the slow cooker; if necessary, slice meat to make it fit!
2. In a medium bowl, mix together mushroom and tomato soup. Pour mixture over beef. Sprinkle dry onion soup mix over top.
3. Cover, and cook on Low for 8 to 10 hours.
   

Mashed Potatoes

I buy the mashed potatoes in the freezer section next to the fries. Cook in microwave for 10 minutes and add what you want to them.

Mac-n-Cheese

I use Kraft out of a box!

Eckrich Sausage
I cook according to package.

When done, I cut into medallions, put back in skillet to cook thoroughly on each side.

Take out again, clean out pan w/ paper towels, but sausage back in w/ BBQ sauce and heat through.

15-minute Marinade

¼ C Dijon mustard

2 tbsp fresh lemon juice

1 ½ tsp dried tarragon

¼ tsp pepper

4 boneless, skinless chicken halves (I use chicken tenders)

Combine ingredients in a gallon bag with chicken and marinate at room temperature for 15 minutes (or fridge if hours). Cook on stove (or grill) till done.

Red Potatoes

Clean and rinse pack of red potatoes. Cut into ¼.

Drizzle olive oil in pan, Put red potatoes in and season with salt and pepper and I drizzle honey all over. Put lid on and cook for 10-15 minutes. Stir 3 times during the cooking process.

Bacon Wrapped Cheeseburgers

• 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
• 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon ketchup
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
• 1 pound ground beef
• 6 slices bacon
• 6 hamburger buns, split

Directions

1. Preheat a grill for high heat.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the Cheddar cheese, Parmesan cheese, onion, egg, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Crumble in the ground beef, and mix together by hand. Form into 6 patties, and wrap a slice of bacon around each one. Secure bacon with toothpicks.
3. Place patties on the grill, and cook for 5 minutes per side, or until well done. Remove toothpicks before serving on hamburger buns.
   

Whole Wheat Pizza Dough

1 cup lukewarm water 1 packet active dry yeast

1 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp Italian seasoning

1 C whole wheat flour 2 tbsp parmesan cheese

2 C white flour 1 tsp salt

Mix lukewarm water and 1 C of white flour. Add yeast, sugar, salt and oil. Whisk to make “spongey” dough. Sit for 10-15 minutes.

Add remaining 2 C of flour and stir with wooden spoon. (I often have to add more water during this process to get the right consistency. Add just a bit a time.) When it becomes thick enough to knead, knead by hand for 6-8 minutes on floured surface. Knead seasoning and Parmesan cheese into dough. Place in floured or greased bowl for 45 min-1 hour.

Once risen and doubled in size, place on lightly floured surface. Sprinkle flour on dough and rolling pin and roll out to desired sizes.

Brush edges of dough w/ olive oil. Bake at 350 for 8 minutes. Remove. Add desired toppings. Bake for 8-10 more minutes.

Homemade Pizza Sauce

1 (15oz) can tomato sauce

1 tsp dried oregeno

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

2 tsp olive oil

Put in sauce pan, combine, whisk, simmer for 6-8 minutes.