10:15 pm

Here it is, 10:15 and Brian now has assumed Ellie duty. She has been crying/fussing since 8:15 tonight. She is tired but won't sleep and when she falls asleep and you move, she wakes up screaming. I do mean screaming. We have the door shut to try to keep Abbie from hearing her. Today marks her 8 weeks in this world with 6 of them with terrible evenings. Tonight takes the top prize though. I have never seen her like this. I have been on her behalf before the throne asking for mercy, relief, and peace over Ellie and this house. That anything evil would be dismissed and for the angels to minister. It is sad when an 8 week old baby cries and has real tears from pain. What is a mother/father to do? How do you help them? The only thing I can say is that she won't remember this (the rest of us and the neighbors will!). Thank goodness.

Tired

Last night was a rough night. Ellie actually played on her play gym and smiled. It was sweet. Abs was at grandparents so that was nice too. Then, 10:00 rolled around and from there till midnight, Ellie was another creature. Screaming, not sleeping till finally we curled up on the couch together and slept. This morning, still crying, not sleeping. Of course she is right now :) The sling works wonders but that doesn't help me at night. We bought Gripe Water and that tends to be the best remedy thus far. Brian has a call to the doctor to see if I need to begin to weed out things I eat to help her. Is she colic? Milk sensitive? Is it her personality? Is she angry?? There are so many questions right now and no answers in sight. I have to turn to God to help me. I pray a lot for help. That my heart would be in the right position to help Ellie and not be frustrated. To love on Abs when I can and often. I have to totally lean on him for help. Even with all that happened last night, I am not too tired. That is Him giving me strength. Abbie being at grandparents when Ellie had meltdowns I believe was him too so that Abbie wouldn't be disturbed. He works in ways we don't think of.

Party Fun

Today was Abbie's birthday party and it was so much fun. We had our trampoline, swing set, small bounce house, pool, and slip and slide. We ordered pizza and had cupcakes and all kiddos got to decorate their own cupcake to take home in a cute cupcake holder. We had lots of kids and friends over and it was so much fun opening our home to everyone. We are going to try something new today too--formula. As you know, Ellie is a bit grouchy and maybe formula might do the trick because it could be something I eat that just sends her tummy off. I am not thrilled about this because it makes me feel, well, like I have failed in some way. Those magazines are right---if you don't nurse, you feel like you are not mom of the year. I will try formula though and if it helps Ellie, that is all that matters! I hope this helps. Any suggestions? Anyone?

Moved to Tears

Things have been very crazy. As most moms know, your day is full of things to do and when two kids don't nap at the same time limits your ability to get things done. Throw on doing a load of laundry a day because your small one spits all the time and colic in the evening (and fussy mornings) can make your nerves shot and a three year old who needs your attention and is dying to play a game with mommy. How do you balance it all? I have not figured it out yet. Tonight though was different. Ellie was pleasant with very few fussy moments and my husband drew my attention to this and said, "Praise God." Yes, praise God. At that moment I began to tear up (and am now as I write) because it has been so hard. Brian is a huge help and even with two of us, it is still tough. I don't know if this was just a good night or if God is allowing the prayer of healing upon our child, but praise his name either way--for healing Ellie or teaching me some character building.

Colic Anyone?

Ellie has colic. Let's just say it is not fun. She spends most evenings screaming and crying whether holding her not. It is pretty crazy around here during this time and most of us can't have a conversation over her cries and Abbie will say, "I can't hear." Me too honey. There is not much we can do except hold her and that takes up a lot of time. So, anyone had a colic baby with some ideas?? We could use some help. The upside is that the doctor said it should be done 6-8 weeks. She's 6 weeks old. Then to top it off, she has reflux. Lots of it! The upside is that she will out grow it in 4-6 months. Needless to say, there is something I am suppose to learn from this experience so I have to be open to that whole sifting thing I mentioned to get out what is in me that needs to be gone. I hope I figure it out soon. Until then, scream on Ellie, scream on!

Sifting

I believe I am about to enter into a time of sifting, just as Satan had asked to sift Peter. Now, I don't know if the devil has asked but I do believe God has some stuff to sift out of me. With me not working, we are taking a huge pay cut and in order to do that, we are forfeiting some things in our life--both good and neutrally moral. We are giving up our Compassion Kid and sponsoring our friends on The Traveling Team. Those are good, but we have to. Hopefully God will make it possible for us to sponsor them again. Neutrally moral things are just the fun things we enjoy doing. So, He will be sifting out of me liking creation more than the creator, aspiring for stuff, eating out just because I don't want to cook, going and doing just to go and do. He will be instilling into me a heart of contentment, gratitude that I can be home, and a humble heart that seeks him more than anything else in this world and turning me toward worship and a faith that he will provide even when I don't see how. Well, at least that is what I hope to get on the flipside, if not more. With a prayerful heart I enter into this season and ask for strength to be broken and built up in his image.

Transform

Today was Transform with our church. This is where we choose a place/location where we can help clean things up by painting, repairing, etc whatever needs to be done. Our location for Denton was Calhoun Middle School. This school is older and needs to have much done to it. Our goal today was tape and paint classrooms. We took Abbie and Ellie with us. Needless to say, I didn't do much. Brian was a taping fool though. It is cool to see so many folks give up their Saturday mornings (and for others, the whole day) to help out. Many were painting, taping, and working in the flower beds, and making stone paths. All to love on these kids, teachers, and administrators with no expectations. Very cool to love like Jesus.

HR Anyone?

After 3 days of trying to get hold of HR, I was finally successful. On Wednesday, I took my letter to HR to ask for a "nurturing leave of absence." I am waiting to hear if it is approved. I don't think it hurt that I had my two kids in tow! They thought were super cute (so do I) and wished me the best. I have to decide by February 1 if I will be returning because a leave is only good for one year. This will at least give us time to see if this whole stay at home thing works out! God has already provided one way by offering Brian a drum gig on Sunday at another church--and he gets paid! Who would have thought. God sure does work through ways we (I) don't ever think of. How creative of Him.
Oh, and last night I ran for the for the first time in 9 months. I ran 1 1/2 miles and it felt GREAT!!!! I can't wait to go again. Tomorrow. I am a little sore today :)

New Beginning

June 5 we were blessed with the arrival of our 2nd child, a girl. Her name is Ellison Noell and we call her Ellie. We have another daughter Abbie who is almost 3. I have prayed for 3 years now to be a stay at home mom and we haven't been able to afford it. I will be quitting my job and we still can't afford it but we are stepping on faith that God is going to provide. I am scared, frightened, and excited because this faith thing is hard for me. It will be a test of daily sacrifice to my wants and dying to the world. It will be realizing the only thing we get is Jesus and that is what matters most in this world. I am eager as to what God will teach us during this process and how he will provide. I will get to be with my girls and know their hearts and nurture them. I am excited about that! My goal is to keep up with this blog thing (as you can see it's not my strength) to mark the path of being home and no longer working (well, a job that pays) and trusting God more than I have ever had to. I step out in faith knowing the God who fashioned the world and knit this desire to mother in my heart will be glorified beyond anything I can imagine. Praise be his name.

Healing

Over the past three weeks or so, Abbie has had something of some sorts. We went to the doctor with a cough and fever and ended up getting x-rayed for pneumonia which was really bronchiolitis. Yeah, we are better. The fever came back and back to the doctor we went and it was the beginning of a sinus infection. Antibiotics take care of everything. Right? No. She wakes up today holding her right hear and crying in pain. Now, she has tubes so there should be nothing wrong. Right? No. They get us into the doctor thankfully about 4:15 and the doctor checks out her ear and says it must be her right one. Yes, doctor, it is. The tube she has in that ear is not draining the puss like it should so it is getting backed up causing pressure. Lovely. He gave us some antibiotics for the ear and a higher dose orally to try to knock all this out. If the ear drops don't work, we will have to go back to the ENT and possibly have the tube removed and another put in. She has spent most of the evening in a horrid mood, crying, fussing, and not wanting anything except to "rest mama" but even that can send her off screaming again. Now she is down to sleep. Hopefully all night. Oh Jesus, I know this is least of what it could be but we need that little girl completely healed! Please pray that these medicines do the job for her and the pain is subsided very quickly.

Doctor Visit

After waiting at my doctor's office for an hour and a half I had a lot of time to think. Sitting mindlessly I brainstormed an idea for doctor offices. They need little games for you to play like Cracker Barrel does. Those type of things to get you through the wait. Even have some Sudoku puzzles available. When I finally got back they weighed me (everyone's favorite),took my blood pressure and asked how I was feeling and I was able to hear the heartbeat (even at 10 weeks and having to hold my breath). She said all was good and then I left. This all took about 7 minutes. As I was leaving all the lights were being shut off or already off. Fighting traffic during Denton rush hour I was finally reunited with my family where my wonderful husband had cooked dinner and had it on the table ready to eat. I guess waiting isn't too bad when you don't have to cook!

Early Christmas

Today I got an email from the principal about our Christmas gift...which is a good one. Now some you say, "You already get two weeks off. What more do you want?" Jeans for a month. Yes! Jeans every day for a whole month! Now that is a Christmas present I can use.

Holiday Break

I must say this has been a great holiday season. It has been so relaxing and easy! We haven't done much and just enjoyed. The weather has been cold and now it's cold, rainy, and cloudy. The house is decorated for Christmas and it is just so much fun. I love it at night when the house is quiet and the tree is lit and Christmas music is playing. That just quiets the soul. Abbie is taking long naps which helps me get tons done so that when she is up we can just play. Then I keep thinking how weird it is to be our last Christmas together...just the 3 of us and how my time alone with her is passing by daily. Now I know the new baby will bring much joy but it has to do with change and now it not only effects us, but another little one as well who might not understand why her world is turned upside down. That is why I am already praying for her now. Next year we will be a family of four...:)

June 28, 2008

That is the official due date of Baby Vinson. Yeah!

It Did

She was up at 6. Her normal 7. Hopefully the nap will sort her out now...

Backfire

I hope my plan doesn't backfire. I let Abbie take a LONG nap today. 3 1/2 hours. She finally woke up at 4:45. Now, I would have normally already had her up and going but my thought was there is a time change so technically, this is 3:45. Then, I will let her stay up till about 8:45-9:00 so she will sleep late. Now, I am not sure if this plan will work. If not, she will be up with the birds! Thus, meaning I will too. Now, you are thinking that I will be use to the time I get up with her but there is something about that clock saying 6:00, and not 7:00. Cross my fingers, all 8, and my legs that this works!

Sickness

Abbie has been sick for the past week. From throwing up to diarrhea (more than you wanted to know!) to a bite on her arm that looked horrid and top it off with fever. The doctor did a flu check but it wasn't. Everything she has is like the flu, without being the flu. So I stayed home with her today to make sure she gets completely well. And she is. No fever, no need for any medicines, except that bite on her arm. She has been running and playing and is now starting to eat again, even if it is only Cheez-Its she likes. It is a beautiful day outside so we have enjoyed hanging out together and playing. I am glad to be home and certainly glad she is not sick (for the past 26 hours)!

Good

Things for the most part are going good. Abbie has begun school and she loves it. She also loves to go to Judi's and play with all her friends. Tonight we are baking muffins for her to take in the morning so they can all have breakfast. We are making big blueberry ones and mini-strawberry ones. The house smells lovely. Ahh...
Today there is rain but non around us. There have been flash flood warnings and we have enjoyed blue skies. This morning though I was mowing and it began to pour down. I kept trucking because I wanted it done. I didn't get to the backyard though. It was just too wet and I was soaked.
My class is very good at school. They actually say yes ma'am and no ma'am. I just want to fall over. They do what is asked and I couldn't be happier at this point.
My daughter calls...or whines is more like it. I must attend to her now.

Back to School

I am back to school. With no kids actually attending at this time and I feel like I have been hit by a Mack truck. We have a new principal and our school is so over crowded that bathrooms may soon be classrooms to make room. All in all it's good and our emphasis is to be exemplary. I will do my best in my classroom and teach my hardest...even if that means I don't always look like the rest of my team. I am exhausted and my mind is always going a 100mph and there just doesn't seem to be enough time to get it all done. God says that is mercy is new every morning. Praise Jesus he gave me enough for today and will again tomorrow. Oh, and it's Meet the Teacher Night. Always a nervous occasion!

Happy Birthday

It is a bit late but I had a super birthday! I think this one tops most of them. It all began on the morning on the 16th when I had to do a scavenger hunt in the house to find my presents. I ended up with 3 gift cards to go shopping, get my hair done, and get some new make up. But that wasn't all. I also got to go out on Friday and get my hair done, go shopping, and enjoy the day...by myself! Brian took the day off to spend with Abbie and I got a few hours to enjoy. It was a great birthday with great new clothes and super sassy haircut that I love. Thank you to my sweet husband for noticing me and honoring me and to my wonderful parents who chipped in to make my day of luxury a possibility. It was amazing. :)