Heartbreak Beyond Comprehension

Too fresh in our minds, the news out of Connecticut sent my stomach to turn and almost create in me a sickness that just wouldn't go away. Watching and hearing the news unfold was one horrible story after another. There are so many ways we can turn. We can scream like Piers Morgan at our guests that more guns isn't the answer and how we need tighter gun laws or we can begin to cry out about the mentally ill. I have an opinion. A big one. But one I won't share. It doesn't matter. What matters is there is hope in Christ. Hope for breaking hearts. God has a promise. 
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 126:5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
Psalm 118:11 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
The LORD knew we would face trials, hardships, pain, and loss. But He has never left us. 
^{John 16:37}
 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Take heart dear believer in Christ, that he has overcome the world. We mourn, cry, pray, praise, and worship until his return. John 16 states that no one can take our joy away. 

Hope

Driving along listening to Christmas music I began to dwell on Jesus as a baby. Blows my mind that he came that way. In the night, breaking the silence with the cries of a newborn. And here he was, with his mom, to save the world.
Something else entered. Hope.
Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." We hope for what we can't see, but Christ in the flesh filled the world with hope. He grew into a man, walked with the sinners, and continued to give hope to those who were shunned by society. He died the death we couldn't, saving us though we put him there, and was raised again. He didn't leave us alone, he gave his spirit to walk with us. And so, we hope again. This time, our hope is that he is coming to rescue us forever.
Christmas is a reminder about the hope we have. Hope to have marriages healed, hope to restore relationships, hope that our children will be saved, and hope that though we struggle, there is eternity waiting.
So, what if this Christmas we filled our homes with hope. When we see lights that we teach our children we are to be the light of the world, that the Christmas tree (even fake ones) are evergreens symbolizing eternal life, and the presents under the tree are not because they are worthy to receive, but because we give out of an overflow of our heart.
What if, as Christians raising our children in a dark world, we give them the one thing they need: Christ. Let's start now. Let's pledge to give our children Christ not just this season, but every day of their life.
When Christ comes, we won't have to hope because we will see. And once we see, we'll never want anything else.

Hot Ham and Cheese Sandwiches

This is a winner that I got from my friend Patti. (Put it on here so I can Pin it and added a random photo so it would Pin)

Hot ham & cheese sandwiches

2 pkgs pepp farm dinner rolls

½ - 1 lb shaved ham frm deli

½ # swiss cheese

Place ham & cheese inside rolls and place in 9x13

On the stove melt:

1 stick butter

3 T brown sugar

1 T mustard

1 T worchestershire

Stir while heating

Pour glaze over sand

Chill in fridge to marinate  (20 min)

Bake 325 10-15 min

Serve immediately

Sanctity of Life. And my 7 year old.

Abbie came home from school to let me know that a friend told her, "Obama wants to kill babies in mommies tummies."
Pause. Freak out. "We'll talk about that later."
Not quite what I was expecting when you ask, "What did you learn today?"
My first thought, honestly, was what parent told their kid this? What did they hear? Why are they telling others? Oh. my.
I didn't say anything else to Abbie. Just needed to sit in it.
This morning I got out the bible and told Abbie that I wanted to talk to her about. Told her that we see what God has to say about things in life and what did God say about this. I read to her Psalm 139. We talked about how God is everywhere, you can't hide. We talked about God knitting her together and that he could see her when I couldn't and that God has determined the days of her life before the earth began. He has for all us. We talked about being fearfully and wonderfully made.
Then I asked what she thought about that. She only agreed.
Then I had to tell her that Obama believes that a girl who is pregnant has the choice to have the baby or not, and that is called abortion, when they murder it. She asked what murder was and I told her they kill it. Her inquisitive 7 year old mind wanted to know how they kill it and I honestly answered that I didn't know, nor did I want to.
I told her based off the bible, God gives life, God takes life. Not us. Every soul is loved by Him.
I never had abortion as a topic of discussion on my radar. Not for a 7 year old. I didn't want to shy from this topic as though it should be taboo. I want her to know truth. God's truth. I want her to run to the bible and seek out God. She might not quite understand this topic fully, and that's ok. But I want the words of the living God to be placed upon her soul as kindling so that they might light a fire in her heart that burns for him and she will know why we believe what we believe because if I don't bring the truth to light, someone else will bring false teaching.

Psalm 139

13 For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

Hands

Lately I've been thinking about my hands. Mainly because I read about the woman in Proverbs 31, specifically vs 20: She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 

I have to admit, I'm not a fan of my hands and when I taught Pre-K I had this little boy tell me I had old lady hands. That was 4 years ago and it has stuck. They are kind of bony, pretty sure those are age spots but I have to look back at the verse, "extends her hands to the needy." Who is needy that you come across? Most frequently, it's my children. Today I have wiped snot, dried tears, cleaned pee up off the floor (and I don't even have a boy!), changed poopy diapers, carried kids, and have hugged my kids and husband. The list doesn't end there. I will be needed to help with homework, put on gymnastics clothes, change more diapers, cook dinner, help with baths, read books, and tuck sweet littles into bed and kiss them goodnight. These hands may be "old lady" hands, but I am serving my family the best I know how. 

In addition to this, I want my hands to be known not to just how I serve my own family, but those in need. Who needs a meal delivered or their kids watched? Who needs help with a project? How might I extend my hand to the poor and needy? That is where I struggle; giving of myself in a generous, abundant way without expectation but an overflow of the generosity that God has toward me. 

I guess I don't mind my old lady hands (most days) as long as I remember who they are serving.

Being Intentional

    “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
   
(Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV)

Ah, this command challenges me. I know it's there. I know I should do it but fail miserably at it. The reason is that I trust in myself. Not in God. The great thing about these verses is that when I am constantly doing the aforementioned, I am also constantly teaching myself the gospel. And this what I need. Daily.
God broke me the other day. In a good, merciful, much needed way. My "good" deeds that I do for my family are sucking me of joy because they're exactly that, my deeds. I don't serve my children or husband well because I serve how I think they need to be served and when they don't like how I serve, or interrupt, I get frustrated. Can't they see all my good?! God just spoke to me and said that needed to stop and I needed to serve my family they way they need to be served and stop looking to my agenda. Then I can be free to be interrupted because I am serving them in their way, meeting their needs, pointing them to Christ. (Much different than me yelling to be patient. Now!)
I see the need to be more vigilant about exposing Christ in our family. To try to teach myself the gospel (Good News) and pass that to my children. This week we are working on the fruit of the spirit. I have printed two small books for Abbie and Ellie and printed out game pieces to use as conversation starters at dinner. You could even print out the fruit page with blanks and have your kids write in when they see family members (or friends, strangers, etc) demonstrating these characteristics.  I need to trust in the LORD and when that happens, I won't cease to bear fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 says:
7  f“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

gwhose trust is the Lord.

8  hHe is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.” 

A Marriage Testimony

Over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about our anniversary. It will be 11 years (July 7).  I am ferociously for marriages and am saddened by the ending of so many. Marriage is hard. Ask Brian. He lives with me and I know I am not an easy person to live with.

But God in his mercy has done something amazing. He has blessed this marriage, redeemed it, and continues to sanctify it. He alone. I’m stubborn, selfish, prideful, and more Type A than I care to be. But God…intervenes, changes, and gives fresh hope and new perspectives.

For the first 7 years of our marriage there was a secret sin. Never saw the signs. Never knew anything else was part of this “two shall become one” relationship until my husband confessed his porn addiction. I had watched another marriage unravel from this addiction, saw how each reacted, and witnessing their struggle I think helped me deal with Brian in a grace filled way. It was completely the Holy Spirit that allowed me to give grace to Brian, to fully forgive.

You see, in the early stages of marriage I think my gut reaction would have been to close myself off to Brian, hold this atrocity over his head most likely for the rest of his life, to be distant, not to serve and love as a wife should.  It is quite possible divorce would have been an option. But God, over the course of those 7 years was preparing my heart for the sin Brian committed against our relationship (though it should have never been a secret to start with).  He softened my heart to hear the sin, to forgive, and to walk alongside Brian to fight this battle, to pray for his heart and mind and that God would give him victory. And He did.

This was a catalyst to a much greater, deeper, richer marriage. We followed this up with Step Studies at church, an intensive 16 week program of viewing your life through the lenses of the gospel, seeing your sin for what it is, confessing, repenting, and making amends where needed.

When things don’t go according to my agenda, I have to be intentional about looking at my heart, seeing where my sinful desire or expectation is and repent when needed.  Jeremiah 17:9 says that “The heart is deceitful above all things.” I must constantly be before the Lord asking him to reveal my heart and sin.

As Brian and I have walked in this manner, talking, being open about the tough issues, checking our hearts to see where there is truth and where there are lies, it has lead to a deeper more fulfilling relationship.

I am eternally grateful that we both are being conformed to the image of his Son and that this marriage is a reflection of how Christ loves the church. I pray that God will continue his good work and look forward to where he leads us as a couple and as a family.