Bullying seems to be making the news more and more but part of me wonders if this is media's way of finding something else for parents to worry about. I am sure bullying truly is an issue and does need to addressed, but I think there are boundaries that need to be considered and observations need to be made on part of the bully and the bullied.
Bullying is a learned behavior. For those who bully, have counselors etc looked at the home life of the bully? Are there two parents? Is there divorce? Is the home stable? Is there a positive adult influence in the home? Are the bullies left to TV, movies, video games, or older influences? I think that is key in starting the process into the bullies mind. Kiddos will act out, even in the most horrendous ways, for attention. Are we paying attention?
For the bullied. Parents, it is your job to protect your child. Are you willing to do whatever it takes? I get so frustrated with parents who blame the teacher, administration, anyone but themselves. Stop deferring the safety of your child to someone else. Stand in the gap for your kid. What would that mean? Transfer to a new school, home school, or yes, even move. Are you willing to sacrifice for your child? I don't think you, or them, would ever regret that. Times are tough, I get that. Downsize, make sacrifices, but don't be idle waiting for someone else to intervene. You start the process: eat dinner together, make family time a priority, no matter the cost, make sure your own kiddos treat their siblings with respect and speak kindly to each other, and make sure they know they are loved, valued, and of worth.
Unfortunately, there are folks who don't hold Jesus as Lord and make the gospel central. Heap burning coals on their head, turn the other cheek, a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger; these truths seem "old" and therefore irrelevant for our time. But I think if it's in the bible, we need to think upon, dwell upon, and apply. If more folks held these principles to be true in their life, there would be radical change among our kids.
As adults, what messages are we sending our kiddos? Do spouses bully one another? Make them do something they don't want to or berate them? Do you use your status or strength on the game field or intellectual "superiority" in dealing with others? Have you ever lost your temper with your own kiddos and used fear as a means to obedience (guilty as charged)? Perhaps on further introspection, it would be wise to evaluate our own lives to see patterns/habits that might set our kiddos up to be a bully.
Perhaps even in my own life, there is a little bit of a bully in me. By the grace of God he will squash it, conforming me to his image, that I might have soft answers for my kiddos in times of trial. Continual confession, repentance, and making amends will be a constant. And hopefully by doing this continually, my girls will see first hand Godly sanctification.
*this is my opinion as of today and am free to change it on a whim depending on how I feel or if my child is being bullied or I learn they are bullies
