Blessings

I think most people have in their mind what blessing means to them (or, at least I assume). What automatically pops into my head tend to be financial blessings or that of health, perhaps even in general, answered prayers.
I am someone who always wonders, ok, perhaps sometimes even stresses, about how things are going to get taken care of. Like when the toilets needed repair along with the A/C and the sprinkler system, all at the same time and of course none of that was included in the budget. And what happened? We were provided for only by the hand of God. It happens every month. For the past 9 years (well, July 7 with be 9 years!). One would think that I would get it through my thick head that I can trust God (completely, totally, all out, without a doubt) and his providential hand by looking at his past faithfulness when I have been so much less. Why would I feel or think anything less?
Which leads me to baby #3 and wondering how in the world we can make it all work. I can become so wrapped up in my thoughts of everything a baby needs, which I have become more practical as time has progressed, but some things are non-negotiable such as: diapers and wipes. My sweet friend Jenny stepped in to answer this prayer by giving me a diaper/wipe shower along with my other dear hostesses: Beckie, Staci, and Patti. There was a need that needed filling and these sweet ladies loved me enough to help out. It was small, intimate, and perfect. And I must say, the gift of diapers and wipes, that will last at 3-4 months I am sure, is to me, a blessing.

And The Middle Name Is...

Ellie came into this world on June 5. On June 6 it was time to fill out the birth certificate where Brian and I had a strong civil conversation on how to spell her name, one l or two? We knew her name all along but apparently had forgotten to discuss spelling. Thus, Ellison it is--2 l's.
Abbie had been easy and we named her from Abigail, David's wife in the bible, and Ellie was a spin-off of Brian's grandma, Nellie.
Keeping with the "-ie" trend and realizing this is our last child, and a girl, we needed to have Brian honored somehow and that is how Brynlie was born. Part Brian, part -ie. Learning from our "hospital discussion", I knew we needed to discuss spelling of her name prior to birth and that is when the voting began and we now agree on the spelling.
The second hard part is the middle name. Trying to agree is like trying to tell a skunk not to stink. Not happening. Then some things came to mind. Instead of trying to find that perfect middle name that flows, what if we chose a name with meaning and depth? Is it ok that her name doesn't flow as well as I would intend it to? Yes, because her meaning is more important that the way it sounds.
Brian and I began to talk and my New Year's Resolution (remember yours??) was simple: Hope in God. Brian has been drawn to the verse: Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. (Psalm 43:5). One day our hope will no longer be hope because we will know as we are fully known.
Catch the theme?? So, soon enough, we shall bring forth a baby girl, who I hope will know God and find her security in him, hope that God will be faithful to save, hope in something bigger than us, hope that we have a future with the sovereign Lord, Brynlie Hope, we can't wait to meet you.

Water Park Insecurities

I have spent a lot of time at the water park over the past few weeks and there is an issue that keeps coming to my soul. Insecurity. Could it be that I just read Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity? While there, I see many women in bikinis and granted, some wear them nice, others, well, let's just say sometimes more is better. My judgmental mind and heart take over and I compare myself to these woman and how I look. Now, some of you are thinking, "But you're pregnant!" Yes, I know, but in my head, I'm not. This thinking alone is damaging to my soul and who God created me to be. I am to compare myself to him and his acceptance alone-not other women. We are made in the image of God and should be image bearers. Does that mean that bikinis are the best way to reflect this image? Now, to those who own a bikini (as do I, but it gets worn in the backyard with a wooden fence around me, however, woe to the neighbors with 2-story houses), this is my insecurity coming through and what God is laying on my heart. May God deal gently with each of us for what we choose to wear, or not to wear.

What message is being sent in these tiny pieces of clothing? I personally opt for the tankini and skirted bottom because I have yet to come to peace with my thighs. What message is sent when women wear these bathing suits to young, impressionable girls? If I struggle, will my own girls? Will they begin the cyclical sin cycle of thinking, "But I don't look like that." What message does it send to young boys, single men, and dare I say, married?

What about younger girls? Teenage girls who wear tiny bathing suits and go to water parks with prepubescent boys who most likely aren't following your behind because they think you're smart. Does this begin to foster respect for the opposite sex or further drive young hormonal boys to "be boys?" Does this type of clothing take away the dignity of women of all ages and make us part of the ever pervasive hypersexualization? To be sensual is to be sexy?

I am a sinner who struggles with self-image (obviously, right?) trying to raise 2, soon to be 3 girls in a culture where less is more and demanding dignity and respect is counter-cultural. I am to raise them to respect themselves, their bodies, and who Christ created them to be, in Him, to have others not look or judge them for their bodies, but their soul.

Which leads me to this, now what? Now that I have put this out there, what do I do about this situation? How do I teach my own girls--who wear two pieces that cover or a 1 piece--that we are to respect ourselves and demand respect from others? How do I teach them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that culture will always tell them otherwise? Perhaps as women we should consider what we wear, water park or no water park, and think about the message we are sending to future generations of young girls. I want my girls to be wives of noble character, who open their mouths with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on their tongue, and who brings praise to their husbands at the city gate because, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."