I have been feeling this oppression lately and darkness over me. I thought I was pregnant (no, I'm not, praise God!). I have been irritable, short tempered, and just not me. It is all coming together now. I know spiritual warfare is real and I am getting a taste of it personally. In step studies, we are now the part of our inventory. This is where we look at our lives and and find all the sin and write it out and how it affects us and others. This is when we shine light on the darkness of our heart and the wickedness that resides in us. It is not much fun to find out all the things that are wrong with you, much less have to confess it openly with a sponsor and pray repentance for each sin. Satan is getting angry because if I expose the lies that he has told me and believed, he no longer has any power. He's getting the boot. Fired. With this process, however, comes pain. I am praying for perseverance.
I sat down and began to write out part of my inventory today pouring out my sins, beginning the repentant process, and there was a weight lifted. There is something about shining the light.
The next step is true repentance. Turning from my sin. Completely away from it.
I pray that once these steps are taken (and will continually have to be revisited), that I can walk in true freedom under the cross of Christ who has already paid my debt to sin and that satan can no longer have a hold me because I am holding on so tightly to Christ.
