Yesterday we celebrated 9 yrs of marriage and it was fun to sit with Brian (on a date, no kids!) and think about our wedding day and what we remembered.
In the beginning of our marriage, I would have to say that Brian did whatever it took to keep the peace and let me do pretty much whatever I wanted because confrontation would resort to temper tantrums and one angry wife who can give the best cold shoulder. If there were arguements Brian would pursue me to solve the situation whereas I would shut down emotionally and be done and "deal" with it. This has been pretty much how things would go--when it came to pointing out my faults. Please don't misread this--this happened on occasion and has not been an every day issue. Just pointing out a few incidents over the past 9 years to get to my point.
We went through Step Studies at The Village in fall of 2008 to learn how to confront sin, repent, and make amends. This in turn has began the process of an ongoing process for life in general and to really look at the heart and why we respond the way we do and what sins we tend to lean towards.
Brian is still the peacemaker and I still find myself selfish way more than often that I want to be and am constantly struggling to put death this earthly flesh and to clothe myself in righteousness. Brian now will confront my issues openly and honestly and I know that my response is not always pleasant for him, but when I get with the Lord, search my heart, I know where my fault lies and where I need to repent and ask for transformation. I know Brian does this because marriage is sanctification. A reflection of Christ loving his bride, the church. Brian's job is to love me, correct/rebuke when needed in love, and I am to submit to him and his authority.
Brian has grown so much in his walk with Christ and what it means for a man to lead his home in a Godly way. God has given him a huge task to undergo, especially dealing with me and soon to be 3 girls! When I sit back and think about the call on a man's life to lead his family, it makes me glad to be a girl.
Marriage is to be a reflection of the gospel for those who are perishing and hope for those who know Christ personally. Brian and my marriage is a reflection of the gospel for our girls and that is something that can't be done without help of the spirit daily.
I have been blessed by a man who loves me, knows my every fault probably more than I know my own, he knows my tendencies, what "triggers" certain emotions, what I love the most, and who would do anything in the world for me. Kinda reminds me of what Jesus has done for me and that is a picture of what Christ intended marriage to be.
I have much to live up to with Brian as my husband but must rest in Proverbs 31 and the characteristics of a virtuous woman. I am to bring honor to my husband every day, to serve my family, be wise with what have, and to fear the Lord, and that Brian might be respected at the city gate.
My goal in marriage is to have my heart be transformed (quickly please Jesus) to "be" more than I "do" and to find community within my own family, digging into the life and thoughts of my husband and children and seeing this process as a blessing and to not make light of it. "Being" around the house is not sufficient. Engaging is.
Brian, I love you and what you do for this family and your heart that is so passionate to see Jesus glorified not only in our marriage, but in the lives of our children, in your work, and in the giftedness you have been given.
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