Idols

As the holiday season approaches, it seems I always find myself in a funk of my own doing. Almost a year out of step studies, I am able to better view my life, its sin, the root of it, confess and repent. God has brought to my heart my idol of comfort/security and my distrust of his providing hand. I look at our budget and think, "How are we going to make it? What else can we cut?" With that, I trim the budget again getting rid of what we don't need in hopes to be more wise and more dependent on Him.
I think God knew I would be in this funk at this moment and has provided ways of helping me deal. The sermon Matt preached over money hit home. I am not an owner, merely a steward to what he has given and does my budget reflect more of an owner, or steward? Ouch. I'm an owner. Do we live beneath our means in order to bless others? Ouch. I don't.
Beau preached on anxiety that is rooted in pride or distrust. I can honestly say I don't trust God to provide so I search the budget for things to cut, things to sell, or things to do to make money instead of resting in his character that has provided for our family each and every month, each and every year. We have never gone without. Never. Shouldn't that be enough for me to believe in the power of God? One would think. But I find myself thinking with head in the flesh instead of my soul in the spirit.
Today's verse on twitter? Out of Philippians 4 to think on true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, things worthy of praise. I went back a few verses where it tells me not to be anxious about anything, but in everything to present my requests to God.
So, here is my web confession that I am seeking comfort, making it my idol, instead of trusting the ever giving, all sufficient grace of God to provide. My worrying to does not add to my day, nor does it solve any problems. When I bring myself before the throne, confess my sin, that is when the power of God is able to move in my life. Comfort can not be my end goal, but seeking the face of God.