Selfishness

I think God puts each of us in different seasons to learn different things. Last year was not to gossip and effects of it. This past school year was learning to balance with a baby. And now? Selfishness. This is NOT something I prayed about but God is hammering it out in my life. I didn't realize how selfish I was until I had a kid. I would rather do "me" things instead of "her" things. I keep cooking or doing whatever with Abbie instead of getting up and greeting my husband when he comes home from work. I vacuum like my carpet is a rapidly growing weed that needs to be trimmed so that I can feel like my house is clean. I do little things that end up neglecting others. I watched a video from C3 with Erwin McManus as the speaker. He was speaking to church leaders but God used it to speak to my heart. In a nut shell: choose. Spirtual life comes down to choosing and everything branches off it. To choose or not? To turn to the left like the foolish or the right like the righteous. Everyday I have a choice. To live outside of myself or not. So, with another teaching, I am going to bust this rut! I am going to volunteer at church and begin to be uncomfortably comfortable. Baby steps of course. It is time for me to JUST DO SOMETHING and see what God leads me to do. After all, my purpose is to serve a living God and I can't set an example for Abbie if I am not doing myself. Ouch. That is big. When I stand before God, I want to know that he pleased with me and what I did. That I can say yes, I did something outside of myself. So, with this, my self is dying (a moment by moment battle). And you know what, it's ok. Because I am free to live in the spirit.